Punisher No More.

As a kid, I collected some of the darker comics - I had some Spider-man and some of the frivolous ones like Richie Rich and Archie, but I got older and was drawn to the darker anti-heroes before the anti-hero became mainstream; stone-cold angels of death and judgement. My collection was filled with Conan the Barbarian, Wolverine, the Punisher. All with some commonalities: misfit he-man-woman-haters who wanted to be left to themselves to do what they were driven to do; wander, making their lone-wolf way in the world, eluding a dark past, with no connection to others, keeping secretive and solitary, and, when cornered, showing their dark sides as the goodbad guys messing up the worsebad guys. 

Conan always fell into larger schemes as the machinations of the evil ambitious sought to make use of him, and always had to end up killing some slaver or witch, taking down some repressive city-state warlord, rescuing some woman who would inevitably leave him behind, or be left behind as he continued his wandering at the story's end. He never really wanted to help out, philanthropy was ever thrust at him on a spear tip.

Wolverine - and don't get me wrong here, not the sanitized Hugh Jackman Wolverine, I'm talking about the streetclothes-Logan-in-Madripoor ogre who was physically repugnant, full of disillusionment and hatred - was always siding with and fighting for the right but only after the wrong pushed into his isolation; never knowing who he was or who he should be or should become, and never able to meld into a wider community, or to find peace with any woman or friend. I remember being bothered that Logan smoked. But I wasn't bothered that he was full of disillusionment and despair. His doom felt like home. 

And the Punisher. He became my favorite. Frank Castle, his family taken from him, a burning hatred for all things hateful. Always looking for trouble to trouble. Daredevil, his foil, ever the attorney, thought that if Punisher knew what America stood for, he'd respect due process. But the appeal with the Punisher was that in the heart of the law-abiding and law-loving, there is the desire to short-circuit the system because it fails to deliver justice; to be the one to dispense justice. There are bad people out there, and someone has to be the antidote for evil. Someone to fight darkness with darkness; judge, jury, executioner. A never-ending crusade of killing the killers sounded like righteousness to me.

These were my superheroes. All with retribution as their primary superpower. None of these characters appeal to me anymore. I'm plenty tired of harboring a darkness in my heart. I'm not a minister of vengeance. I'm a minister of reconciliation. Love doesn't seek isolation, or step aside as evil makes its way in the world. Love overcomes evil, but with good.
There's still a natural man inside of me, wired with an innate desire to find a fight for justice - and I do. I do fight for justice - against principalities now, not targeting flesh and blood enemies. No man is my enemy. No man is safe from an undeserved blessing. Mercy has triumphed over judgement.
I will act as Punisher, but not on flesh and blood - instead, I look to punish the principalities and powers. Claws pulling the puppet strings in the spiritual shadows behind the physical stage. 

I've been hearing from various prophetic sources that I'm a Wolverine. Better to be him than the Punisher, in all events. Besides wearing the chops, I don't fully get the connection though. Maybe, like Logan after a mind-wipe, we both walk not really understanding our identities; like him, my past, and my possibility and promise and potential have all been taken from me, unremembered, unrecognizable and unrecoverable. I don't know what else might be my connection to him. The one who will do the dirty job? The one who will go in and slay the ugliest with his own ugliness? The one who is unkillable but wants to die inside? The one walking joylessly wondering if there is a place of peace somewhere, but won't ever find it because wherever you go, there you are, and his discontent disrupts any peaceable place he enters?
I hope not. These things were true until very recently, but my hope is, not true for long. Not true in the tomorrow.

What do I know? Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. Choosing who deserves destruction isn't my portion. I can destroy, but how does that make me Godly? God is the one who destroys evil ... but with good. Only God would bless people from darkness into light, God is the One Who would curse not. Killing and destroying is the work of the dark side. Destroying someone who is a destroyer - sounds like a good deed could be done in that, but only to the natural mind - far better to turn a destroyer into a builder, and add another to the blessing of the kingdom of light and right.
Do I make my point? When it's kill or be killed, be killed. "You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also." Jesus said it. If this sounds like weakness to you, then you have no understanding of the power of reconciliation.

I know that chivalry isn't dead. Strength is to be spent into creation rather than destruction. This sounds like a repetition of the point above, but with an extension beyond the realm of mercy into self-sacrifice. The modern-day knight not only seeks to overcome evil with good, but surrenders his rights to his own itinerary, his self-sufficiency; and, instead, sacrifices self and strength for the needful and weak. He cannot go his own way, and pick his fights only when his own way is obstructed. Confronted by injustice, he must go out of his own way to step between the oppressed and their oppressor. Who will fling himself into a sea of blows to absorb some, as a sorrow-sponge in hope of bringing calm to the waters? 

I know that the day of the loner is done. I am a married man. I am a father, with children of my own, and I am a father with adoptive spiritual charges for whom I care. My place in the world is found in community and inter-relationships. Any wistfulness for a lone-wolf life of wandering and answering to no one has been loved out of me by a caring God and a committed community. Pretending that you're too hard for fellowship is a veneer hiding a deficiency.

I know that I don't wander the world seeking to find myself, or exorcise some demons within. There is nothing to discover on the solitary road, there is no healing to be found in some self-imposed silence. The darkness within was driven out when the Light of the World took up residence inside, and now I am the light of the world. I remind myself: Stop looking for darknesses inside, or anticipating them. Move forward. Squint with the light of the truth in your eyes.

I know that all things are made new. I know enough to stop trading blows with darkness, or seeking to - there is no real fight between light and darkness. I know to share the sufferings of Christ, and like Him, intercede even if it costs all. I know to look around myself, and find my worth via investment into those with whom I am connected. I know that I was made whole for a purpose; I know to look outside my own skin and bring the reconciliation I carry. 
I know that I am a Punisher no more. There is no condemnation now for those who are in Christ Jesus; there can be no condemnation now from me, now that I am in Christ Jesus.

Front Squat RoM - 2016091721

I've had some days between these logged workouts. Some were just air squats and lunges for 6ish rounds, like on the road. I did a day of ring rows and oly squats couplet'ed, but really. I wonder why I'm logging today, except to say this: I'm not on schedule. I'm not on a goal quest. I'm just doing lifestyle work, just who I am. Getting up early for morning watch and being too burnt in the PM to do a program, that's who I am right now.

Buy in
3 rounds, no timer

Band Rotator Cuff internal/external rotations - Grey band, which is too mucho
Hip Thruster x16+ out/in
2 rounds, no timer

Adductors x12ish, doubled grey band

Finish off the 4 Hip Thrusters
12 mins.

- 1 min -

Main

5/4 rounds, HT timer
Front Squat - AtG @ 135# x6's mostly
RDL, 163# x10-x8

12 mins.

If You Can't Circuit - 20160917

5/4/3 rounds, HT timer
Ring Row x10-8
KB Swings
DB Thrusters
Ab Wheel Rollouts x10
15 mins.

Tried to rack the DBs, and my right shoulder fell apart like wet cardboard. Could clean it into place, but not hold it in place.
I'll be doing some rotator cuff work for the foreseeable. Praise the Holy Name of the Lord, I'm not feeling this shoulder the way I was last Saturday. It's weak, but it's not screaming bloody murder: The rocketship upside.

- 1 min -

Tabata Bag Work, Lefts only
Stop kicks and everything from southpaw stance. No right hands today, yah.
6 mins.

Air BSS - 20160907

4 rounds, HT timer
Step back lunges, alternating rounds
RDL x9/10 @ 163#
15 mins.

- 1 min -

3 rounds, HT timer
BSS, BW only, alternating rounds x7/8/9
6 mins.

Did these inside the rack, with hands on the pin n' pipe, just for balance. Yes, I will add weight.

- 1 min -

4/3 rounds, HT timer
Hip Thruster, double blue bands x15 - in /out
Adductors, single grey band x12
7 mins.

This turned into an assfest. Rocking the lunges and split squats back so they didn't feel like they were putting pressure on my knees made for a lot of glute work today.

32 mins total.

OH Press HT - 20160905

Buy in
4 rounds, HT timer
GtO x7ishes @113#
5 mins.

- 1 min -

5 rounds, HT timer
OH press for 5RM: 113#x5/133#x5/143#x5/145#x1/133#x5
Chins x5/4s
12 mins.

143# for 5. No comment.

3 rounds, HT timer
Meadows rows, alternating rounds x10/9 @66#
Ring dips x7ish
10 mins.

30 mins total.

Oly Squat Form 5x5 - 20160904

Buy in Assistance, no timer
Hip Thruster x15 @ 2 blue bands
RDL x10 @163#
12 mins.

- 1 min -

Oly Squat, SB timer
5x5 @ 205
15 mins.

AtG, slow and pause in the hole, just making certain we're all the way in it, then exploding out. It's not the weight, it's the depth.

30 mins total.

What Shall We Do?

The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is from the Lord. - Proverbs 16:33

I'm learning to walk with God in fresh ways. The Holy Spirit and I play games as He's teaching me. The best learning is fun; it's discovery, it's exploratory, and it's repetition with variation. Usually, it's learning by doing, instead of trying to learn by reading or hearing, and it's personal. Rather than learning about what someone else did, I am challenged to do something unique in partnership with God in our own unique way.

If I don't wake up with some pressing directive, I ask, "What Shall We Do?" of the Holy Spirit. Many times, He answers with something specific; write a letter to this person, read this chapter from the Bible, walk around this building and pray. Kingdom-building games of discovery by doing.

Some days, "What Shall We Do?" returns no distinct answer. On these days, if there's nothing pressing to accomplish from my end, we roll the dice, and pull randomly from a list of 25 activities.

I prompt Siri on the iPhone: "Random number from 1 to 25."
She will abruptly answer, "It's Seven," or another number. Before I used the iPhone, I would visit a random-number generating website, like this one. 

I take this number to be directly from my Holy Friend. If that sounds questionable to you, be assured that this is what the apostles did when they flipped a coin to choose between Matthias and Justus to replace Judas among the 12 at the end of Acts 1. They used their minds to narrow down the good choices (they had two to choose from, we have 25), then basically said, "God, you pick from what we think is best." 

Prior to a 25-item list, I had a list of 10, which grew to 15, then 20. I add new items to explore as they bubble up into my experience. Maybe this time next year I'll have a list of 50 activities.

It's fresh every time. Say the random number was 7, like above. Then I'll spend some time working in partnership with the Lord by praying with an eye to binding up some bad stuff and releasing God's good stuff, ala Matthew 18:18 (see below, number seven is Bind/Release, in the prayer-stuff section).

Here's my list.

1. Waste Time with God
2. Take Dictation > Listen
3. Meditate on a (Biblical) Truth

4. Craft a prayer
5. Pray a Bible passage
6. Intercede
7. Bind/Release
8. Prayer Walk

9. Write a Song
10. Sing Worship
11. Soak Worship

12. Listen to a Sermon
13. Craft a Sermon
14. Journal > Testimony

15. Bible Exploration
16. Bible Listening
17. Read your Current Study Book
18. Memorizations - Recitations
19. Promises > Inheritance Verses

20. Craft a Word of Prophecy
21. Craft a Blessing > a Letter of Encouragement
22. Craft a Declaration
23. Create/Make Art

24. Go on a Treasure Hunt
25. Give Something Away to Someone

Some of these may not make sense to you. Much of my original short list was composed of meditative and solitary activities, but I'm seeing a movement into adding items to the list that are more active and less "traditional personal quiet time." God is taking me into a place where our time together is used to meet others at their point of need.

This night, I had a little time to ask What Shall We Do?, and I rolled a 10. I got out the guitar and sang. "Be Thou My Vision," mostly, trying to play it through without weeping and having to stop to blow my nose. Good thing I can sing from the heart, because my voice and mucous membranes leave my presentation wanting.

Anyway, the question for you is: What is He doing that's new? What's on His list of things to do in partnership with you? To start, I challenge you with this one-item list:

1. Make a What Shall We Do? list of your own.
Addendum: a year and a half later, sure enough, we added items and are still adding items, and are now playing the game with a listing of 53.

Time to Assess the Not Much - 20160828

I've been doing, but not logging, some work - kinda every other day, and mostly BW stuff, quick and dirty. Nothing to write (home) about. So I haven't been. Did some lunges and air squats yesterday, and today I'm sore. So yeah, not writing about how little I'm doing and how low my tolerance is.

Today was some basic shoulder ROM HT.

4 rounds, HT timer
Meadows row, alternated, one per round x10
Dynamic push up x6/6

14 mins.

4 rounds, HT timer
Bent over row x10 @ 1233
OH press x7ish @ 123#
7 min.

For the final quarter of the year, I'm going with a really simple set up:

1. Heavy squatting and isolateral stepping - 2 and 2x/week

     Breaks down as: Oly Squat/BB Step up/Front Squat/LSD step thoughs (w/ assistance)

2. HT and explosive hinging - 3x/week

     Break down: Hpull/Hpull iso/Vpress; Hpull/Vpull/Vpush; Vpull/Hpush/Vpress

3. MA and conditioning - 2x/week

     Mostly Hill sprints and bag work, you know the drill.

Prioritized in that order. ... yes, that looks like it's 9 sessions a week, but I'm treating it like 9 blocks a week. So I may be only sessioning 4x/week (that's minimum possible, I know, 3x/week looks like it's in range, and I might just do that if I cycle the squatting/stepping down one notch). 

I will be doing IF and, until Boots on the Ground is complete, walking easy in the AMs.

Don't know if I'm going to be religious about logging here. Some of this is going to feel like it's not work-worthy-of-mentioning, still. Stay tuned. I'm logging, but it's all the deep spiritual stuff that people really don't want to hear about, so that's getting my reflective attention, elsewhere.

Painful Squats n' Circuit - 20160824

4 ugly rounds, ST timer
Oly Squat x3/4/3 - intense left knee pain/4 @ 205#
8 mins.

4 rounds, HT timer
Meadows row, alternated on rounds x12/10
KB swing x12 @ 53#

Ring Row x10ish

OH press x whatever @ 123#
20 min.

Was going to squat from 3 up to whatever, like 9? But that third set was agony. Got to stabilize, mobilize, then strengthenize. Back to the drawing board - which is, pretty much, what I'm going to be doing after a 3 week layoff.

Press HT - 20160804

6/5 rounds, HT timer
Meadows Row x 15/12/10 (singles, alternating for 3 each)OH Press x8-7 @ 133#
13 mins.

4/3 rounds, HT timer
Ez-out/in curl x8s

Ring Dip x8
8 min.

Just staying loose. Too tired to go hard, but going hard on press isn't really work.

6.5 + 2 hours - 2130/0400. 21 minutes total, PE: 6. 36 hours.

Squat Pyramid - 20160803

Buy in
4/3 rounds, no timer
Hip Thruster x14+ out/in

Adductors x12ish, doubled grey band
9 mins.

- 1 min -

Main
Oly Squat - AtG, SB timer

205# x10/215 x8/225 x6/235 x4/245 x2/lsf 205 x8

15 mins.

- 1 min -

5/4 rounds, loose 1 min RI
RDL, 163# x10/183 x8////

Standing Calf single/double 12+12 @ DB+35# belt

19 mins.

Still kinda recovering from Yosemite Falls, 4th day after. Except for the Bako heat, this one felt good though. I like the pyramid down, 30+8 rep count with decent weight, all good form.

6.5 hours - 2100/0330. 47 minutes total, PE: 8. 24 hours.

Yosemite Falls Day Hike - 20160730

Yosemite Falls. Got up at 5, Boogie waking me up for once, and we got on the road early. Made it through the park gate just before it was manned with Rangers, and left the park after 8, so we didn't have to pay the park fee. A cheap date!

We parked across from Camp 4, and already felt that the day was getting warm. 86 degrees was the high, but as we made the first switchbacks up and over Captiol dome, the air was thick and hot. Hot, sweaty, steep, muscle tired, out of breath, steep, overweight, and steep. This section didn't seem so bad in the morning, maybe because we were thinking ahead to the difficulty of the switchbacks going up the side of the falls, but on the way down, this last section of switchbacks in the trees seemed like purgatory - the same trail cut with the same slick rocks on indefinite repeat. It hurt coming down the hill.
I could do some more endurance training and I could lose eight or 10 pounds of fat. Some of it can come off if I do fasted cardio by walking in the mornings – walking the ZIP Code; boots on the ground.

The going from the top of the lower falls to the very top was rough. The heat made a difference. We had been leapfrogging a few groups on the trail thoughout the morning, and a couple of them turned around at the 3/4 point. We tried to talk them out of it, but they just weren't up to it. We didn't feel great, but no way were we going to just quit. We did a lot of stopping and cooling down, but I had a worrisome deep quad cramp in my left leg at the top, which, when I tried to stretch out, countered with a hamstring cramp. Rested and drank and it didn't recur. Like old marathon times! In fact, I'd compare this effort to a 3/4 marathon today - even though the total miles were only 9ish.

At the top, we worked our way up the stream to find our own pool to swim in. Most folks took pictures from the falls overlook (not even a view of Half Dome from there) and then swam in the first pools in the river. We got to the first, but furthest pool from all the yahoos upriver - quieter there and no way was I drinking water after people had piled into it.

Going the extra mile (literally) to Yosemite Point made the day. We traversed right up the rock and got up on the highest point; a tower of rock off the edge of the point of the dome, and felt the vertiginous exposure - pulling, yawning, drawing the guts into a desire to fall out and into all that air. I felt small on the way up the switchbacks, underneath the Capitol dome rock wall, but on top I felt large - like I could fly, like I should fly, like I was meant to just cross that space in a single thought.

Lots of people climbing up as we were coming down - smart to do so in the shade, instead of the sun, but late in the day with no time to enjoy the top. A helicopter was rescuing a hiker who'd come down with heat stroke at the top of the lower falls when we were climbing down - just that toasty of a day up there.

PullPush 444 HTstuff - 20160727

4 rounds, HT timer
Ring Row x max reps (10ish)
Ring dip x6-7s
10 mins.

4 rounds, 30 sec RI between exercises
Meadows rows, x8/10/// @ 56#
OH Press x10-8 @ 113#
10 mins.

4 rounds, HT timer
Plyo push ups x5-6 doubles
4x87 Ez-in curl
10 min.

7 hours - 2230/0530. 32 minutes total, PE: 6. 24 hours.

Journeyman Squat Day - 20160726

Assistance
5/4 rounds, loose 1 min RI

RDL x10 @ 163#/183#////
Hip Thruster x12+ in/out
15 mins.

- 1 min -

Main
Oly Squat, SB timer
x10 135/ x5 205/225///, fsl 205 x6? 8? Who remembers?
16 mins.

Didn't do any cash out anything because even after 7pm, it was hot AF outside. Squats feel solid, and, while the numbers aren't impressive (to anyone hack squatting, as folks are wont to do) form and depth are finally there for me. I'm hitting 50# more at 50% more depth than I was 5 years ago.

6 hours - 2200/0400. 32 minutes total, PE: 7. 60 hours.

Sunday Morning Hinging - 20160724

Buy in

Boots on the Ground walking - 45 mins-ish

4/3 rounds, HT timer
Chins x max reps (6ish, still, ever)
GtO x6-7s @113#
10 mins.

4 rounds, HT timer
KB swings x12 @ 70#
Ez-in Curl x7-8
10 mins.

On the way outta town, no time for any Bag work. Missed it.

6.5 hours - 2230/0500. 21 minutes total, PE: 8. 60 hours.

Front Squat Stuff - 20160721

Buy in
4/3 rounds, no timer
Hip Thruster x13 in/out

Adductors x12ish, doubled grey band
12 mins.

Main
Front Squat, 1 Min RI

x6 135/145/155/165/175/185, fsl 135 x8

22 mins.

Form fell apart a bit at 185. Hot and muggy outside, even after 1900 (and will be worse still next week); this was a mental struggle thoughout. But, as it goes, satisfying afterward.

Assistance
5/4 rounds, 1 min RI

RDL x8/9/10/11/12 @ 163#
Standing Calf singles x12/doubles x10 w/ 35# belt & 39# DB

18 mins.

8 - 1 + 2.5 hours - 2230/0500. 54 minutes total, PE: 7. 24 hours.

PullPush Antagonists in Da Heet - 20160720

Death by Chins

6 rounds + 2 ... didn't really sell out - didn't want to tear, and this is just a buy in today (I say that because I couldn't do anymore after 6, bleh). Taking it a little easy today; it's only 92 out, but still, draining me.

7 mins.

4/3 rounds, HT timer

Ring Row x max reps (10ish, still, ever)

Ring dip x6-7s

8 mins.

3 rounds, 1 min RI

Meadows rows, x10/11/12 @ 56#

Plyo push ups x5-6 doubles

7 mins.

Cash out, HT timer 

4x7 Ez-out curl

5 min.

... last two PMs have been occupied with events. Didn't need a 3 days off, but life is what it is. Schedule is still loose, training is still by feel, and I'm not too worried about pounding some square peg of schedule into the organic round hole of my time just now.

6.5 hours - 2130/0400. 28 minutes total, PE: 7. 72 hours.

Squat Sunday - 20160717

4/3 rounds, no timer
Hip Thruster x13 in/out

Adductors x12ish, doubled grey band
9 mins.

Oly Squat - AtG

SB timer

165# x5/205 x5/225 x5////205 x5

18 mins.

4x5 was the heart of this workout. Big gulp, all the way down and pause, controlled up keeping everything square and solid. These sets across were a win for me.

RDL, 1 min RI

4x8 @ 163#

8 mins.

8 hours - 2230/0630. 36 minutes total, PE: 7. 24 hours.

AM Triplet - 20160716

4 rounds, HT timer
Pull up x6ish

BtN press x12 @83#Ez-in Curl x7 @ 94#
15 mins.

Nice pump from the presses, and they felt good at the time, but 20 minutes later, I couldn't reach into my back pocket with my right arm. OH presses in front are bad enough a risk for impingement, attenuation is good here but they're just not worth the potential downside.

7 hours - 2230/0530. 15 minutes total, PE: 6. 6 days.

Squat 3x3 n' Assistance - 20160710

Buy in ASSistance
4/3 rounds, no timer
Hip thruster In/Out x12+ @ double blue bands
Adductors x15 doubled-single grey band
13 mins.

Oly Squat
SB timer
Squat 7 @ 155#/7 @205#/5 @ 225/3x3 @ 255/7 @ 205 lsf
18 mins.

Assistance
5/4 rounds, 1 min RI
RDL x 10 @163#
Plyo Box LSDs 
10 mins.

5.5 hours, 2230/0400. 42 loose minutes total. PE: 7.

Open Shoulders - 20160709

Buy in
5x4 Weighted Pull up w/ 10#
6 mins.

Couplet

5/4 rounds, HT timer

Clean and Press x5 (in .30) @ 113#

Chins x6-4ish

11 mins.

Ez-in Curl

3x7 @ 94#

1 min RI, 4 mins.

No, ten pounds does not feel heavy on the pull up bar. Just won't go up.
Higher frequency is feeling good right now. Instead of maintenance, I feel like I'm making up for lost ground.

5.5 + 2 hours - 2230/0400. 21 minutes total, PE: 6. 24 hours.

AMPM - 20160707

AM
7/6 rounds, HT timer
Neutral pulls, x4's mostly
Incline push ups, 3 variations x20-10s
16 mins.

PM3 rounds, no timer
Adductors, grey band x12's
Hip thruster x12+
7 mins.

- 1 min -

5/4 rounds, loose timer
Front Squat x6's @ 135/155////
RDL x10 @ 163#
Then
Oly Squat 3x10 @ 155#
25 mins.

Can't stop the volume. I don't feel like I'm overreaching, just under resting and underfed. I keep meaning to solidify this into an HT cycle, but I'm not getting the open time to sketch it all out - so, still going by feel, and I feel like working antagonistic open sessions.

6.5 hours, 2130/0400. 16 + 34 minutes total. PE: 7.

Saving Some for Tomorrow - 20160706

Buy in
3 rounds, no timer
Meadows rows on landmine x12's @ 53#
OH press @ 113# x12/9/7/6
10 mins.

- 1 mins -

Main Set Triplet
4 rounds, HT timer
Ring dip x8+
Ring Row x max reps
Ez-out/in curl @93#
14 mins.

Did 6 sets of chins on the HT timer yesterday AM, this session should have been the PM, but I was pretty wrung out and just slept in the PM. I'll be fresher for it all tomorrow. 

In case you haven't noticed, looks like I'm doing an HT cycle, whether I want to or not. I do want to, BTW.

7 hours, 2200/0500. 26 minutes total. PE: 7.

Somewhere in There, I Squatted - 20160704

Buy in
3 rounds, no timer
Plyo Box LSDs x10/10
Adductors x15 doubled-single grey band
10 mins.

Assistance
4/3 rounds, no timer
RDL x 10-11 @133/@163#///
Hip thruster x12+ @ double blue bands
12 mins.

Main Set
5 rounds, SB timer
Squat 6 @ 135#/6 @205#////
13 mins.

Whatever
4 rounds, 1 min RI
Standing Calf Raise singles w/ 40#DB and the diving belt x12s
FtB (still the diving belt, noice) x6's
12 mins.

- 1 min -

Cash out
Tabata simple kicks
5 mins.

7 hours, 2200/0500. 56 loose minutes total. PE: 8.

I Don't Beer Anymore.

They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated; men of whom the world was not worthy, wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.
Hebrews 11:37-38

Reputation is an oddity. Rotten, despicable people are fawned over as the world pets their every image, the sick selfish have reps as philanthropists, but good and Godly people are branded as haters and cast out. Who can control how others see you? There's perceptive whimsy to every reputation - and many times it's simply inside out. If character is Who You Are When No One's Looking, reputation is Who You Are Depending On Who's Looking. Beauty based on the eye of the beholder.

There was a distant time when the World's Biggest Dallas Cowboys Fan was my reputation. I would get coffee mugs and baseball caps with blue stars on them as gifts. So pleased to have outlived that. 

I've spent the last year and a half repeating the same line to everyone who talks up beer with me, verbatim: I don't really drink beer anymore. Some few are warming up to the notion that there's truth to it. Some of even my closest friends and relations still haven't heard my seriousness, though. A reputation is hard to overcome.

After a Christmas of getting gifted with bombers of IPA This and Crafty-Stout That from co-workers, on New Year's day 2015, I stopped and looked at the back of my car. Over time, most of the space had gotten covered with stickers for brewery This and IPA That, and in the seeing, I hit the realization that not only was I now known as the Beer Guy, but I'd been feeding the notion that I was the Beer Guy. I didn't like that. I didn't want to rep the Beer Guy anymore.
That was the initial impression - just a mental note: Beer has become too much of your identity. But I didn't make a New Year's resolution to stop pouring beer down my reputation's throat. Beer took a while before its glass was emptied, even though there were layers of reasons to stop beering during 2015.  

When you're a homebrewer with 10 gallons of exactly-the-beer-you-love-because-you-custom-made-it in your fridge, having a beer every night as you walk in the house is an easy habit to cultivate. A tipping point telling moment was reading some of Dan John's wisdom, as he pointed out that most of evening drinking is simply thirst. Snapping out of that impulsive reaching for a beer and instead, grabbing a water required a nudge. Right at that time, I caught the Bakersfield-air-sucks-in-January respiratory infection and felt like crap, drinking only bottles of Perrier and eating nothing. After getting well, I just stuck with the bubbly water, reaching for a bottle of Pellegrino in the evenings instead of a homebrew for refreshment. 

Also, I spent 2015 depressed. Drinking a depressant while depressed, should be an easy out - who needs to drink to feel worse? Not the wise course. I was wise enough to try to exercise right and eat right and sleep right to work at elevating right up out of the blues. Beer wasn't part of the elevation plan. This is a fact, and it cannot be disputed: Beer is bad for you. Worse than bad; maybe the worst foodstuff ever. Sick and sad and sloppyfat and sluggish, thank you beer.

Later, with some household financial belt-tightening, beer money became food money. It's easy to cut down on your brewing and brewery sessions when you don't have enough money to buy beer. And when you don't have enough money to buy beer, your beer drinking friends stop calling. So peer pressure diminished with the bank accounts.

So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord…
Ephesians 5:17-19

I'm not playing on the ragged edge of dissipation anymore. Dissipation is a strong word. Can you say it and hiss the esses, and hear the air going out of your spiritual tires as the Holy Spirit evaporates? Life without God in it is flat. This is just an extension of why I don't beer anymore: why I don't whiskey anymore, why I don't wine anymore. Whiskey and wine won't make you sloppyfat, but they will make you sick and sad and sluggish, and drunk. And, if there's any truth to the Bible, then drunkeness is trading the indwelling presence of the God of the Universe for a buzz. Not a trade up, in my Biblebook. I want the Holy Spirit more than anything.

Like I said, lots of reasons why to Not Beer. I haven't been a pilgrim about it; I've had a beer here or there to be sociable, but most of the time, I've not finished them. I was always a beer snob, and truth be told, most of the best of what's brewed out there now doesn't taste good to me. 

I don't really drink beer anymore. I've said it for a year and a half now. I don't really drink beer anymore. I don't really beer anymore. I don't beer anymore. I don't beer. I don't.

Beer's a fading echo of someone I used to be, someone I'm not now. People who don't know who I'm becoming still don't know it yet. Because, a reputation, once earned, is a sticky thing to outlive. I hope to see if I can't replace it with something else. Someone else. Man of Whom The World Was Not Worthy has a nice ring to it. I will pour myself into that.

CoupletTripletCouplet - 20160702

3 rounds, HT timer

GtO x max reps in .30 @113# (8ish)

Chins

7 mins.

3 rounds, HT timerRing Row x max reps
KB swings @ 2 pood x12ishPress @ 135 x5+
11 mins.

3 rounds, HT timer, 2 on, 1 off

Ring dips (10-8ish)

Chins

10 mins.

15/15 easy bag hands - simple combos
8 mins.

6 hours, 2200/0400. 36 minutes total. PE: 7.

444 Squat n' Assistance - 20160701

4 rounds, HT timerRDL x 10-11 @163#
Hip thruster x12+ @ double blue bandsAdductors x14 single grey band

16 mins.

4 rounds, HT timer

Goblet squats x max reps in .30 @35#

4 mins.

- 2 mins -

4 rounds, SB timer

Squat 5/6/7/8 @ 205#

10 mins.

I was really pretty done for by the time squatting started. This mightashoulda come first, but we were working a circuit with the Laurie and Lorrie today.

- 1 min -

Tabata simple kicks
4 mins.

6.5 hours, 2130/0400. 39 loose minutes total. PE: 8.

Triple Triplet - 20160630

Death by pullups

7 rounds, just not up to it today.

3 rounds, HT timerRing Row x max reps

Press @ 135 x6s
KB swings @ 2 pood x12ish
11 mins.

4 way planking, tabata timer

3 rounds, 6 mins.

Seared my hands on the press bar today. Bakersfield in the summertime, outside WoDs make a man of you.

8 hours, 2130/0530. 24 minutes total. PE: 7.

RDL, Hip Thrusters and Assistance - 20160628

4 rounds, no timer
Landmine lunges x10
Adductors x14 - grey band
8 mins.

4 rounds, no timer
Hip thruster x12+
RDL @ 135/@ 163 x10///

4 rounds, no timer
Front Squat @ 135 x8ish

Everything was loose today, 107 and just trying not to burn myself on the bars, or fall over and drown in a puddle of sweat. Front squats got the short shrift today, all ASSistance work - was sore from it too.

6.5 hours, 2130/0400. 34 minutes total. PE: 8.

Triplet Circuit - 20160626

5 rounds, HT timer
Press @ 135 x8-4
KB swings @ 2 pood x12ish
Ring Row x max reps
17 mins.

Easy morning, some light hands-only bag work, no timer.

When You Enlisted in the Prayer Army.

When you enlisted in the prayer army
God sent you 
to government buildings
inner cities
neighborhoods
neighbors 
schools
businesses
He sent you
not the famous evangelist
not your pastor
He sent you

And He said
   You're the one
   You're the one
   You're the one I want to use
   You're qualified because I'm inside of you
   You're qualified because I gave you the right to pray in My name
   And I want you to go deal with this situation
   I want you to go 
   bind
   loose
   open 
   close
   I want you to pray for this person by name every day until they're saved
   I want you to pray about this issue until it changes
   I want you to pray for this school every day until revival breaks out 
   I want you to do it
   You're the one
   And listen to Me
   You are qualified
   And if you keep waiting for somebody else to do it
   There are going to be things left undone that I want to do
   Because I need you to sign up
   
Ten years later you are the one 
telling stories
writing books
saying
   God used me to do this
   I didn't really know what I was doing
   but He just did it anyway
You're the one talking about people who have been
saved
set free
delivered
about that village where everyone has come to Jesus
about that someone who was full of demons and now they are free
about that city where you planted your banner and contested the ground
because you didn't take it to so-and-so to have them pray
you said 
   Lord, use me
when you enlisted in the prayer army
and He sent you

Squat & Assistance, Bag Work - 20160625

5/4 rounds, no timer
RDL x10 @ 133/x10 @ 163#////
Hip Thruster x12+ @ 2 strong bands
13 mins.

- 1.5 mins -

5 rounds, ST timer in .45 on 3.00
Oly Squat @ 135 x8/205 x6/7/8/9
17 mins.

MA Bag Work, tabata timer

Simple kicks - singles

7 mins.

July will commence a simple structured program; I'm foreseeing straightforward STR movement with a power component, then conditioning/MA ability work until I start to show some powerendurance and some shine instead of rust. Kicks today were slow and sloppy.

7.5 hours, 2130/0445. 40 loose minutes total. PE: 7. 225/12.

Squat and RDL - 20160622

7/5 rounds, HT timer
Oly Squat @ 135 x8/165 x6/205 x5-6's /////
5x10 RDL @ 133#

Squaring off for some intentionality here, looks like my life rhythm and schedule's going to change soon.

6 hours, 2230/0430. 15 minutes total. PE: 6.

PushPull - Power - MA - 20160619

4 rounds, no timer
Meadows Row x10
Ring Dip x7/8/9/10
11 mins.

4 rounds, no timer
GtO @ 133# x5ish
KB Swings x10
11 mins.

Plyo Box Step Thrus x5/6/7/8, no timer; 1 min RI

- 1.5 mins -

Tabata bag work
8 mins.

Just a loose work MA day. Power-endurance tank is tiny right now.

6.5 +1 hours - 2130/0400. 41 minutes total. PE: 7.

Chins n' Assessment - 20160605

Just did a chin pyramid today in the park. As I've been saying for months now, catch as catch can. I haven't even been logging work, since I haven't been doing any noteworthy work worth logging. Which makes what you're about to see ... noteworthy.

Assessment for the quarter:

These are the numbers from someone who's been sitting in a truck 6 hours a day, with little oomph to get under the bar, to work or to eat according to a plan. I'm down 2% BF at the same BW from two months ago. Chest is down an inch, waist is the same, and all else is up. I grew muscle by doing nothing. I lost fat by eating garbage. My results fly in the face of years of training, study and experience.
If I really really cared about my HT situation, I'd say it was all God. Since I don't, I'll say this anyway: it's all God. God cares about the stuff that we don't let ourselves care about; those pursuits that we've shelved because we don't have room anymore for any passion for them because the passion for His kingdom and His righteousness have superseded all else.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. - Matthew 6:33

Step Squats and reps - 20160525

7 rounds, ST timer
Oly Squat @ 115 x10
Step Squat @ 115 x10/135 x10/////
13 mins.

5/4 rounds, open timer, .45 RI
RDL x11 @ 113
4x12+ Standing Calf DB singles @ 43
12 mins.

Some ginching pain in the left lower back as a leftover from squatting the other day. All better 2 hours later though.

7 hours, 2230/0530. 25 loose minutes total. PE: 6.

PushPull 2 and 2 - 20160524

Did 10 mins of chins yesterday, so kind of a push focus here today.

4 rounds, open timer w/ 45 sec RI
Meadows rows @ 46# x12's
Press x11-8 @ 113#
12 mins.

4 rounds, HT timer
Ring Dip x7+
KB swing @ 2pood x10-12
10 mins.

6 hours - 2230/0430. 23 minutes total. PE: 6.

Squat & Assistance - 20160522

4 rounds, no timer
RDL x12 @ 133/11 @ 163#///
Hip Thruster x15+ @ 2 strong bands
11 mins.

- 3 mins -

6/5 rounds, open timer
Oly Squat @ 135 x8/205 x6/7/7/7/6
5x12+ Standing Calf DB singles @ 43
28 mins.

3x12ish 
Ab wheel rollouts
7 mins.

I've said this before, but this workout is the new bread and butter.

8.5 hours, 2230/0700. 47 loose minutes total. PE: 8.