That's Not a Prayer

I don't get people who derive their identity from their devotion to a sports team. The sports team doesn't love them in return, does it? More specifically, I don't get people who root for their team via social media status updates.

Piggers, time to start playing like you mean it! 1:10 left in the 3rd. Piggers, you got this!

Are the Piggers taking time away from the intensity of their focus on the athletic competition to check their devices for fan encouragement? This odd post isn't for the Piggers, and it's not for the benefit of the poster - if SuperFan really needed to get the excitement out of his system, he'd simply yell it at the game. Instead, he's laboriously created a post for the unnamed third parties who might be reading.

What he's really communicating:

1. I'm immersed in the Piggers' game, and you're not.

2. I'm a really, really huge Piggers fan. Piggers define me.

3. This Piggers game is really a good one - did I mention that I'm enjoying the game right now? Awesome game, by the way. One I'm really, really enjoying. 

Hey, the guy likes the Piggers, that's his thing. Just seems off when you read it, because he's talking to the Piggers (who don't follow him on social media), and because the post's not about the Piggers, really, it's about his one-way relationship with the team through a megaphone of self-aggrandizement. 

In the same convoluted spirit of indirect communication, I don't get you people who pray in the third person like this:  

God, I really appreciate Joe, sitting right here beside me, how he took out the trash bags when no one else was willing to take out those trash bags. He's such a good friend to me, I really appreciate him. Help everyone else to step it up when they see things that need to be done, like weeding that nasty West flower bed, or giving to the Saint Piggers relief fund, which, as you know God, is still 400 dollars under budget…

Everyone gets the message. Except God, because you're not really talking to Him at all. The poor Filipinos get the message too, because now they have to survive another natural disaster because God was embarassed for you, and rolled His eyes so hard it caused another tsunami in Asia.

Prayer should be direct communication between you and God - whether it's just you and Him talking, or it's you talking to Him in a room full of people. Prayer is conversation with God, not the others in the room. Prayer's not a chance to get your secret message across to the others congregated in the room with convoluted third-person messaging.

There's a few other pray-isms that peeve me. Might as well mention them here and clear the air.

God, if You're there, … 

The Bible already tells us that 

...without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. 

Hebrews 11:6

So, don't even expect an answer if you start your prayer with an insult like "if You're there." God's everywhere; that's a Pretty Big If.

God, be with…

Be with us? Be with Aunt Eugene, who's going through such hard times? We just discussed how God is omnipresent and wherever Aunt Eugene is, He is already there. God, Be Anywhere is dumb. He's already there, He's already with you, them, whoever. 

Why not pray for Aunt Eugene that she can be made aware of God's presence? Better. Why not refer to her as Aunt Gina when you pray it? Better still, because no one of any gender should be named Eugene.

Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies...

If the food's not nourishing, is praying really going to make it so? This is the prayer you pray only if you're at the South Pole, have nothing to eat but styrofoam insulation, and need God to create nutrition where none exists in order to survive. 

If you're sitting down to a turkey dinner, it's Grace-time-better-spent to ask God to protect your intestines from bursting.

Besides, we're not relig-ites who use God to bless inanimate objects. God isn't interested in blessing things. Foodstuffs are things. The Bible shows that God's interested in blessing people, not silver candlesticks, chalices, and not smashed potatoes and gravy.

Why not ask that God bless our bodies to make good use of the food before us? Better. Why not just thank God for the food, like Jesus demonstrated. Better still.

We're so thankful for Aunt Eugene who's with us…

This is rooting for the Piggers again. "God, we're down 2 days with 1 day left in Aunt Eugene's visit. Pigger family, you got this!" 

Why not simply tell Aunt Eugene, before everyone bows their heads and closes their eyes, that you're thankful for her visit? 

Bless you Aunt Gina. God's with you and we're glad you're with us too. And we're glad you're not an obnoxious Piggers fan.

That's not a prayer, it's direct communication. Better.

Crafted Prayer, Off Like a Shot.

I have to be honest, all my christian life, I've sucked at prayer. I've done a good amount of it, and probably people think I've been good at it because I can turn a phrase, so it sounded like I was good at it, but I haven't done much up til now.
Glory to God, now is now here. I can write, and I can listen. And now, I can listen for what God wants prayed, write it, and then speak it all into reality. I can craft prayer. I've got a newly-found art form.

As I explore what watching the watchmen means as life experience, I asked a pastor:
Tell me, as a Watchman, what would you like from someone called to watch out for you?

His answer:
My son is most on my heart. He is not pursuing God...nor, frankly, much of anything other than school and work. No relationships, no sports that he once enjoyed and certainly not church, etc. I am praying that God will pursue him...as he did all of us. Your joy-filled, hope-filled prayers added to mine would be a boon.

I determined to fast as I crafted a prayer that could not not get answered, because the prayer would be God's will. So, I started fasting, and that evening, I set aside a few hours, set aside everything else, and slipped into that inner quiet place. I crafted this prayer, careful to write down only what I knew the Spirit was saying with me. Praying it together with the Spirit is so right on, and like I was saying, hasn't happened like this for me all the time. This one was one of the special ones.

( Aside: As you read, read aloud, won't you? Pray this prayer once again now for our here-unnamed friend.)

I release ______ into knighthood in service to your kingdom. I bless him with a new office as your holy soldier. Enemy of our enemy, protector of the weak, open hand to the needy, open heart to You and your ways. I give him an honest tongue. Let him speak your words in love and with an irresistible, irrefutable passion for your truth. God grant him holy permission to serve you as a spiritual warrior. Open his eyes, heart, mind and backbone to the spiritual war that surrounds him. Show him evil, protect him from evil forces, make him a bane to those who work evil. Fill him with a hatred for injustice and wrong. Have him overcome evil with good to Your glory.

Give him a thirst for You. Fill him with Your dreams and visions - let him see what must be done, what he must do. You've already given him a bent toward adventure, now bend that desire into adventuring into the eternal. Let him be your servant. Let him be unsatisfied anywhere but in the center of Your will and work. Make him complete - start the work now to walk as the new man in Christ, may the old sinful man rot and fade, left behind in the tomb. Make him a tower of light. Make him a man who speaks what You say. Make him tenderhearted to the hurting, and hard to the callous. Make him full of You. Holy Spirit, work in him wisdom that only comes from You. Give him courage that can't be found anywhere but in You. Surround him with trainers who are full of Your Spirit, show him who he is and how he should live. May any false influences and bad company disconnect from his day-to-day. Move him from learner to model, to mirror image of Jesus in this world.

Holy Spirit, I ask that you work to steal all the allure from sin and self-service from him. He was made to love You and serve You. Shape him into that one who loves and serves You first. To love You, to serve You, to love You, to serve You. Amplify that heartbeat. Make the pounding a drum he must march to. Give him desire to war, to grieve, to sing, to serve, to wear your full armor, and strike with a strong hand bearing your sword. Fill him with overwhelming love and a craving to serve. Let him cry with the sorrow you feel. Take him to a higher level in his care for what you care about, his care for the people around him, his disgust with sin, his need for community, his need to show love and receive pure love. Blind his heart to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life - as he squints with the light of Your truth in his eyes, make all he can see be what You desire; make all he wants to see more of the same: Your desires, You, Yours. More and more of You God, empty ______ of any garbage inside, and in that emptiness, Holy Spirit, live there and vibe into his core an aching hunger to fill himself with You and Yours.

As he seeks You, be found. We know You're close, and You desire to befriend him, but be closer still now. Be so near that he cannot miss You in his weakness. Warm him in this time of chill. Soon, with the rekindled fire in him, You will have to rein him in - I ask that he even will try to run too hot for You. Make all his distance into nearness. Make all his reticence into zeal. Turn him completely around, from You, to You. Turn him upside down from himself and this world, to You and your kingdom above. His mind is no longer on earthly things, his mind is the mind of Christ, set on the things above. Power, power, power from Your hand is upon him, in him to work your astounding works. Miracles from his fingertips as Your fire burns hot within him. Where he goes, a circle of Your light falls, casting shadows - and casting shadows aside. Give him titles: Demon hunter. Soul winner. Son of Righteousness. Friend of God. Kingdom builder.

I give him permission to outrun his sister, to exceed his father, to outlove his mother in his life in You. Grow him now. Use him now. I grasp him and lift him into this next season in his life.

The next day, I was able to finish my tasks out at our work site in Mojave, and work through my lunch, sparing the time to do something spontaneous and adventurous to set the Prayer on its proper trajectory with a proper launch.

There have been rains lately, and the desert floor is carpeted with green stubble. There's a new pulse of life out there. Before I set out, I was atop a high point at our site on Soledad mountain, looking at the rugged but beautiful view saying, "I know God, I can pray this prayer right now and You'll hear me. You're hearing me now - but I want to do something different for my benefit. For your benefit. And for ______. So, let's go somewhere remote and wildernessy on the way back through the desert."

So we did. We pulled off-road, and prayer walked about a quarter mile to a lonely, rocky little rise.

During the conversation along the way, I asked the Spirit if He would give a sign, afterward.
"I'm kinda feeling self-conscious - have I done my part? Have I fasted long enough? I have to be honest, I'm hungry now. But if I've not done my due diligence, I'll reload and do everything again. Just let me know one way or another once we release this. Show me what's what by letting me see something out of the ordinary - like a ram in the thicket caught by the horns. That would do it. If I need to do more, show me that though."

Got to the top of the hill, and there's nothing much up there. Sandstone rock chips and a stiff wind. Some scrub sage and a depression where a hermit miner dug a shaft some 75 years ago, maybe. Nothing out of the ordinary, for sure.

I prayed the prayer through, with some spontaneous additions, from my laptop. I'd prayed it all with God as we wrote it, but here, I was speaking it into being. Breath and wind, under the cloudy grey-blue skies. This prayer is one the Spirit wrote though, and I could feel Him saying it as well, in this moment.

Immediately after the amen, I shut the laptop and set it down. Right between my feet was a bullet casing I'd not noticed prior.

The Other voice said, See, our prayer has been fired off like a bullet.

Awesome. Alright.

However, this is only the first shot in the war for ______.

Can live with that. What's next?

God said a couple other things, one is that I'm not the one who gets to fire off the second shot. 

I was kind of feeling, "Wha? But I'm just getting started here!" But I understand. God's doing a work here, if I was to PUSH, then the glory goes to - who, me? I don't think so. Better that the Body of Christ is shown that it can re-member its own. 
Also, I'm not done praying for this one, and can't wait to see what greatnesses germinate and grow. I've already been given a vision for the end result - now to hear the stories of its realization.