Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Kare-o Lot About Redesign?

I love examining logo and packaging redesign tweaks. The "new" Pepsi logo's getting a lot of attention just now, but here's a fun one: Karo syrup. New bottle and label. Can you tell which one is the refreshed version? And maybe why?




Wait for it! ...











It's the one on the left - in the easy squeeze bottle. The old one has the straight sides. Guess it looks more grabbable off the shelf? They did a logo redesign a while back and nuked their trademark "Tailed-K" as seen at left in the thumbnail. Since Karo makes pancake syrup and other drippy stuff, appears that they're trying to offset the brand name into its own realm, and set the "light corn syrup" descriptor apart from the brand name. Also, looks like they're trying to play up the fact that they're TRUSTED and use REAL vanilla. And if you can't trust your gooey sugar to use the real vanilla, you're misplacing your trust.

Also, the dead giveaway was the fact that the old bottle has turned a cloudy yellow. Real vanilla or not, new label and bottle or no, the stuff is a urine sample in your cupboard.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

And Make Ye a Toast with a Pint of Mead.

This first foray into the realm, just trying a plain jane recipe, and seeing if clean, but not sterile, is really a viable approach. How sterile is a Viking longhouse, anyway?

* approx 12 lbs. Wildflower honey
* 30 chopped raisins (steeped 5 mins in the big tea ball)
* Wyeast Activator smack pack - 4184 Sweet Mead
* a couple tsps of Acid mix to taste (to add, mayhaps, after filtration and into 2nd fermentation)

A straightforward boil in a 4 gallon pot on the U-boat conn. Added in the honey, and let it roll for 20 minutes or so, skimming off the scrudlyfoam; when that thinned out, just killed the heat and added in the raisins and 4 tsps of the yeast fuel (ammonium, not the dimmonium). Cleaned stuff up, poured into the corney with 1 gallon of chilled. I wish I would have broken out the wort chiller, instead I spent a few minutes swirling the corney and hosing it down with cold tap water in the outside shower.

I wish I could have seen my face when the hydrometer went into the tube, and never sank. I've not seen sugars like this before. OG of 1081 /21 balling. We're looking at 11.5% potential nitro. This will sit in one of Charlie's new corneys with the release open (guess this will be the fermenter corney - it's a leaker) but should be perfect for letting mead sit for 4 months.

So, no clue where this is going, but the process is a lot quicker and easier than even extract brewing. The price is paid over the long fermentation and conditioning? We shall see.

Day 21: I was thinking to only ferment for 2 weeks, but was busy all week. Fermentation stopped a week ago, pretty much. I don't know about the yeast attenuation, but found the gravity at 1040. Is that normal?
Ran filtration today, took the reading on the way out of the first pass through the 1 micron cartridge. The preliminary taste-test outta a grimy hydrometer tube says: yum. All the honey is still there, with no watery body, or any of that light-grapey wineyness. It's mead, FTW.

Notes to self here: as long as you're filtering, and having to clean the filter and tanks anyway, you might as well filter outta the fermenter into a spare tank, then filter again from the spare back into the fermenter. This way you catch the initial burp of gunk on the rebound. Then you can keep the spare full of BLC (after a back-flush pass through the filter, keeping the filter and hoses full of the BLC for storage).

Also, be sure to gas the tanks full of C02 before filtering into them: all the gurgling won't oxygenate the must if there's no oxygen in the area. Seems obvious, but if you're not thinking about it...

Now to wait for 4 months? I don't think so. I hope to get my hands on some bottles and I'll test out some sparkling mead and some old school Wednesday's variety.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sweet Creamy Stout

Creamy has to do with adding Lactose, here, for the first time. Not because of what you're thinking, gutter-minded one.

Okay, so it's winter-going-on-spring, the wife likes the dark ales, and marathon training demands some recovery drink that's both hearty and nutritious. Time to brew up the first Stout ever in time for it to parade in all its green glory for Super Bowl Sunday.

* approx 1 lb. Quaker Oats (steeped)
* 1 lb. Dingemans Debitter Black (steeped)
* 1 lb. Simpson's Chocolate (steeped)
___
* 12 lb. Amber malt syrup
*. 2 lb. wildflower honey
* 2 oz. Willamette Pellets (4.4% alpha: Boil - 40 mins.)
___
* 1 oz. Fuggle Pellets for aroma (4.6% alpha: Chill steep)
* .75 lb. Lactose (we went light on this, because we're old and lactose intolerant)
* a pair of Danstar dry Nottinghams.

Shooting for an OG of 1040-5ish / FG: 1010.

So, I got everything cooking, and begged the wife to find my floating thermometer for me. I'd been waiting for the ingredients to arrive for over a week. One would think I'd be better prepped. Besides a mostly meaty pig of seasonal Brown Ale from Lengthwise and a good attitude, we weren't at all prepared for this.

From 140 to 160, we steeped up the grains and the oatmeals. Pulling out the muslin left brown-black drainage that one would expect from an old oil filter. Noice! We're getting Stoutish now, baby.

Got a light boil going for 40 mins, don't think we really hammered out a protein break. Everything smelled great with the malt and honey going at the half hour mark. Took a preliminary OG: 1043 at about 65 degrees. We're gonna kick some buttocks. Took a couple of mugs out of the wort and poured them into the corneys, after letting them cool, Walker and I added a pack of Nottingham each. He gets the right-side-up keg; I get the upside-down one. (Actually, I get them both, since I get to walk out to the garage and press my lips to the tap anytime I want. But you understand both what I mean, and the depth of my personal determination, responsibility and inpregnable integrity).

Mostly did some talking and stirring, and dropped in the Fuggles and the lactose after shutting down the heat. Walker got to babysit the chiller while I tucked CC in. All got cool, and poured the wort with the team effort we've developed over the long haul of doing this twice. We spilled a bunch but still got 4.75 gallons into mine, and 4.5 gallons into Walker's.

Out the corneys go to the service porch. We'll get a good, hard fermentation going before we go into the fridge. More soon.

Day 3: After two days of super-aggro fermentation at 68 degrees, I was afraid all was going too quickly. Moved everything into the cooler at 62 degrees for a day. Then, racked off some and gave it a hydro reading. 1030 for mine, and 1033 for Walker's. Hmmm. Moving it back into the warm.

Day 4: Now, everything's slowing down. Tomorrow morning, I jack you punks into the fridge at 40 and teach you a lesson.

Day 6: Racking off some of the flocculated yeast and cold slurry, then back into hibernation.

A few more days of that racking-off-the-bottom and the yeast is owning. Ordered a cartridge filter with a 1 micron mesh. It'll be here midweek to Save the Day.

Day 21: Wednesday = midweek, and 3 weeks from boil. Pushed my (read: not Walker's) corneyfull through the filter first, but Charlie's new/old soda kegs are both leakers (suitable for primaries; the other one is fermenting mead as we do this filtration). So, I ran "mine" through into the leaker, ran Walker's into mine after a rinse, then mine back outta the leaker into Walker's, after a rinse. So we swapped corneys, but most notably, "mine" got filtered twice. Ah, we'll see if there's magic in the mistakes.
On a side note, there's a gorgeous depth to the dark of this stout. Watching it bubble back and forth through the filtration hoses was picturesque.
Shame we're gonna have to turn it all back into piss!

Put 'em both on 30 lbs. pressure and shook 'em 50 times - hey! it's a new Crossfit exercise for time! - and put them back on ice. Tomorrow. Tomorrow will tell.

Day 35: So, it's 3 weeks-ish later, and after a long session for Big Sur, and I'm dreaming about spaghetti and a hearty, nutritious stout. This didn't disappoint. We hit the mark spot on with the gravity, mouth-feel (note to self: 1/3 the lactose of others' recipes is plenty good), chocolate and coffee hints all over. We win.

Cracked open the corney and hit it with some gas on Oct 18th, as we cooked up some Honey Brown - fine nitrogenous bubbles, double-barrelled coffee burst and a smooth finish. Wow, where'd this come from?

Friday, January 09, 2009

You Have Been Warned.

Thanks to you, Consumer Product Safety Commission, we now know that everything is a potential hazard. We're so aware and safe now! Let us warm ourselves in the comfort of our super-safesafetyness.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

America's Team, But My Team No More.

I've loved the Dallas Cowboys since childhood. I guess I picked up the team when they were winning and heralded, during the silver Staubach/Landry years. I stayed true when other teams were winning, reveling in the Danny White triple threat (although the team wasn't much of a threat to win), and remember feeling every concussion as Troy Aikman worked to survive a season with no offensive line.

I loved the Cowboys, in that childish "I root for this team, and my commitment is one of those things that define me" sports-fan loves. I wore hats with the star on 'em. I had Cowboy sweatshirts, coffee mugs, bumper stickers. All that stuff that you receive from friends and relatives when they don't know what to gift you, but they think of you when they see the memorabilia in the store and they buy it for you because you're the biggest Cowboy fan they know.

I loved the Cowboys. I root against them now.

September 24, 2000. The team was in a slump after the Aikman/Emmit decade, and were only going to show a 5-11 record. The 49'ers were beating them up at home that Sunday. Terrell Owens, the 49'er showboat-big-mouth caught his second touchdown pass of the game and ran to the star at midfield to celebrate, again, as he had on his previous touchdown. George Teague flew off the bench, and butt-struck the incredulous Owens. I stood and shouted for George Teague, my heart bursting with pride. The comeuppance was poetic, so well deserved; Teague's ejection from the game for the hit only underscored his moral victory. Eight years later, ESPN named the moment one of the ten most memorable in the history of Texas Stadium. Eight years later, no Cowboy fan seems to remember it.

Owens failed in San Francisco, then pissed himself in Philadelphia. No player should show the disrespect for his teammates and coaches that he's shown, and still play the game. No player could show the disrespect for the Texas Stadium star that he did, and play for the Cowboys. But here he is, with a 5 million dollar signing bonus. The disloyalty.

Jerry Jones, you remember George Teague, don't you? I wanted someone to remember that day. I wanted a press conference saying, "While T.O. has some skill, we simply won't hire him here. In a state that remembers the Alamo, his day on the star was an Alamo for Dallas to remember, and never forgive."

I want America to have an America's Team, and as long as there is a winner, America will have their team. Americans have short memories. But I have a memory. I want George Teague. I want a team I can believe in. This team is no longer one that deserves my loyalty.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Conspicuously Absent: The Chapter on Cache Hiding

I’ve finished the first draft of my book on geocaching. Tentatively titled “A Passion for Cachin’”, it’s about my life through the lens of geocaching. Wow. I feel like I’ve really accomplished something, and that 17,000 finds actually has meaning beyond the logbooks and trade items. I was able to get it all out of my head: the experiences and the reasons this hobby/sport/obsession can be so compelling. I have chapters on geocaching as adventure, entertainment, education, annoyance, friendship, and therapy, among others. Look for it this spring!

Yes, I'm feeling snarky. EMC's a great person. But the one who digs the well deserves more honor than the one who drinks from it. Keep it up, Cache Hiders everywhere. You make the geoworld spin.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

You Know You Want To, But You Can't.

An exercise in patience, futility, whatever. But I could not be fooled. I could not be coerced.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Media Bias Hits a New Low.

Hey lookit, the 20th anniversary edition of Men's Health! They're going to review 20 heroes of health and fitness! Who could they possibly include? Oh, I see, they have the greatest golfer of all time ... okay, golf's not my top choice as a fitness challenge, but Tiger Woods, he's a specimen, so a good pick ... at #2? They have the greatest cyclist, and perhaps the most noteworthy endurance athlete, of all time ... at #3? Whoever beats out a Lance Armstrong must be a frickin' stud.

Who could be #1? Forget about awesome athletes from the past two decades, who else was noteworthy even this year? Michael Phelps? He did win more swimming golds than anyone in history this Olympics. I think there were a few baseball players who made headlines this year. Looking back, some names come to mind. Someone like say, Michael Jordan? I understand he won a few basketball games and even played a little baseball. I can think of a few boxer's names. Some triathletes, powerlifters, martial artists, football players, soccer players, marathoners, alpinists and rock climbers, tennis players come to mind. How about hockey and field hockey? Cricket, anyone? Divers, scuba divers, gymnasts? Motocross, skiing, skating, skateboarding, snowboarding, MMA? At the street level, who could pick a few Crossfit mutants? At the other end, most astronauts were and are incredible benchmarks of health, fitness, and intellect. How are they going to only choose 20? How are they going to choose #1?

Oh, I see. Let's choose the empty suit socialist. Our health and fitness hero smokes a couple packs a day. Can he do a pull up? Can he run a mile without stopping to cough? Even I can pwn his skinny ass fighting, f**king or footracing.

Tell me now how there's no media bias on the left. I can't hear you because I've wadded up this rag's cover and stuffed my ears with the paper.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Google Does It Again.

Toss out that MySQL book. The only thing you need to store location data is Google Maps.

My Maps is a feature that lets you create your own mashup on a map. Once a map is created, it can be shared with a link, or in Google Earth with a KML file. And now, it is also available via RSS–GeoRSS, to be more specific.

While viewing any My Map, click the RSS link to see the GeoRSS version of the map. In addition to all the other information about points on the map, such as business name and address, you get latitude and longitude coordinates.

This RSS feed can then be read in by any script you write instead of making a database call. The Google Maps API can even call GeoRSS files directly, loading all your locations in a single line.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sniff This & Weep.

Sure, every time a Republican looks silly, we get to hear about it. But what's the real reason? Liberals. I mean, lookit the smug little smile on Obama's face as McCain gags passing through his fart cloud. We're all only one fartbeat away from a Biden presidency. Lord have mercy.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Tower Defense FTW.

Think of it as a spatial-reasoning problem. Or a real-time geometric riddle. Anyway, play it on normal mode, create the best possible maze in the space provided, and you cannot lose.

Oh, but until you do create that ubermaze? You will lose. You will lose, lose, lose.

Dating, It's True.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Friday, October 03, 2008

The Gateway Drug: One Story


Addiction makes people do vile acts. Here's one from the drug flying under the radar.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Making Preaching Relevant Dept.

Pastor Tells Flock to Have Sex - Every Day
February 19, 2008

A Florida church leader is challenging married members of his congregation to have sex every day for a month.

The challenge for single parishioners is slightly different, though - to abstain from sex for 30 days, reports Sky News.

Paul Wirth, head pastor of the Relevant Church in Ybor City, said the marathon undertaking could help cut high divorce rates.

He said: "Couples across America are struggling in their relationships, both married and single people.

"For married people it seems like the sex is great up front but then for some reason life happens.

"But when you're single it's like you're always thinking about it and you're like, man I'd like to have it as much as possible.

"And sometimes that prevents them from having a great really healthy relationship later on when you do get married."

The Relevant Church describes itself as "a casual, contemporary Christian church" and says its services are designed "specifically for urban professionals and young families".

Mr Wirth's previous sermons have included using hit film Shrek The Third to explain "what happens when we trust God."

Found in the British Museum, did you?


I only scored 50%, if it's any consolation to you, Indiana Jones.

Now You're Playing Like a Programmer.


light bot

Wall St. Bailout, It's Good For You

"I must tell you, there are those in the public debate who have said that we must act now. The last time I heard that, I was on a used-car lot … The truth is, every time somebody tells you that you’ve got to do the deal right now, it usually means they’re going to get the better part of the deal." - Mike Pence, R - Indiana



Another 700 billion in debt to add to the 9+ trillion we and our great-great-great grandchildren are going to have to try to pay off. The Democrats want to socialize a tidy lump of financial institutions. Liberal mismanagement and overspending is killing this country, based on failed Marxist ideology designed for a world we don't live in. The Complicit Media reports only that the Republicans are folding their arms across party lines to hold up this emergencycrucial measure. Can you fools please stop it now? I don't want to look at your healthy smiles as you ram some more debt into my mouth.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

That's Usually Where I Find 'em Too

Hypocrisies Hidden in Plain Sight Dept.

an ever-expanding list

Abortionists Against the Death Penalty


Anti-Oil Bumper Stickers

And the corrollary that Bush's War for Oil in Iraq Caused Gas Prices to Spike

Blacks Who Say All Whites are Inherently Racist


Countries named "Democratic Republic of" Which Never Hold Elections

Christians Defending Themselves Against Aggression is another Imperialistic Crusade, Muslim Aggression is just another Anonymous Discotheque Bombing Borne of Justifiable Frustration at Christian Imperialistic Crusading


Darfur genocide: in its 5th year without UN or Amnesty International intervention


Drawing Mohammad with a Bomb in his Turban is an Understandable Capital Offense, Depicting Mary as a Streetwalker is Art So Deal With It

Flag Burning Out of a Sense of Patriotism


Gays with Stereotypical Impeccable Fashion Sense but Butt Breath


How she's not Black enough, not Smart enough, not Hot enough, nor even a Woman, really, because she's Conservative

How that "Question Authority" Bumper Sticker Advertises Adherence to Whatever the Alphabet News Channels, Politi-Pulp Mags, and Creaky Communist Professors Authorize as the Truth, Without Question

Islam: Religion of Peace


Liberals Who Distrust Government but Want More of It

Marxist College Professors Denouncing Capitalism while Collecting 6-figure Incomes

The National Organization for Women throwing down for the all-male Obama ticket

Progressives who brought you Prohibition, Anti-Tobacco Legislation, and the Continuing Tirade against Trans-fats Refusing to Punish Hard Drug Abuse and Hardcore Drug Dealers

Tree Huggers Hoping to Get Their Picture in the Newspaper


Union Reps driving Foreign Cars

Friday, September 19, 2008

From the Uh, Because He Told Me In Confidence Dept.

The Dinner Table [5.51] O you who believe! do not take the Jews and the Christians for friends; they are friends of each other; and whoever amongst you takes them for a friend, then surely he is one of them; surely Allah does not guide the unjust people.

So my doctor has a story for me, about how his son married a gal from Albania, who'd gone to a christian international school there, a super gal. They get along great, she becomes a US citizen, they pump out two kids, go to church every Sunday, and she gets her medical degree.

The day after she's arrived at her American dream, after 15 years of marriage, she drops the bomb on him: she never loved him, she's out the door, she never was a christian, she was always a muslim, the koran gives her the green light to use anyone else who's an infidel to further her ends.

Here's my question, and it's a straightforward one: Since Obama isn't a pocket muslim, what is he? ... He's just another liberal secular humanist? He's an Obamaworshipper? You're so sure he's not out to send you infidels to some shallow grave somewhere. You better place your faith in something stronger than Hope, or your own psychological projections. These people play by different rules than the ones the Christians have laid down in this country.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Man Up.

Responsibility.
This short ended, I feel my heart beating with an anxious desperation in my chest. This is the type of emotional word picture that can change behavior, as the viewer is allowed to live the situation before one presents itself. Steel yourselves, would be heroes, your time for greatness approaches.

Goin' for the friggin Gold.

Honorable mention, UNICEF Photo of the Year.

Boys hang on a bar for five minutes as part of a training session at the Gymnastics Hall of the Shanghai University of Sports August 7, 2007. Students of the gymnastics class of Yangpu District Youth Sports School are all aged 5 to 9. China's future Olympic hopefuls train at one of the thousands of provincial sports schools around the country. Even though these athletes were too young to make the 2008 Beijing Games, they harbor dreams of winning Olympic gold in London 2012 or beyond.

BTW, Olympic rules state that gymnasts must be 16. Which means that the oldest of these boys should be just 13 enough to compete for China come Londontime.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

All Star United's LaLa Land

The question isn't whether it's true. The question is it working for you?
Marshmallow skies and custardy pies and nothing's too hard to do.
They're five happy verses or so. They told me all I needed to know.
Ignore all the rest: Trials and tests, and threats to my comfort zone.

Well, I've got no time to find out what's real. I stick with what I happen to feel.
It feels grand when you're livin' in a lala land!

You can name a blessing yourself; stake a claim on power and wealth, and strong healthy teeth, a spot at the beach, and romance that's really swell.
All the saints and martyrs alike, well, they would have called a national strike -
Demanded less pain, more personal gain, if only they'd known their rights!

Well I take it very personally.
Yeah, I got to know what's in it for me.
Ain't it grand when you're livin in a lala land?

I've got my prayer cloth collection in a Jesus jar.
I've got the Holy Ghost ridin' in the back of my car.
Sometimes He gives a little tickle, I go "hardee har har"
Ain't it grand, when you're livin' in lala land.

My Jesus decal does quite the trick. Right above my dashboard I stick it: a good luck charm; it keeps me from harm, and saves me from speeding tickets.

Well I take it very personally.
Yeah, I got to know what's in it for me.
Ain't it grand when you're livin in a lala land?

It's All Relative.

All Star United's Wierdo

Elvis lives in Greece - has changed his name to Joe. The lunar lander filmed in Disney's Studio. God saved me, and I'm crazy? No! I'm a weirdo for knowin' what I know? I'm a weirdo? Whatever floats your boat... I'm a weirdo? I know I believe in You. Mikey died from little rocks that could go pop pop pop pop pop. The army hides what just put circles in your crop. Oh maybe and I'm crazy? No! I'm a weirdo for knowin' what I know? I'm a weirdo? And don't it get your goat? I'm a weirdo? I know I believe in You. We took a hit on the big bang. It screwed up the yin yang. If the truth is pig feed, then God is Siegfried and Roy - oh boy!

If Invading You is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right

There was no hard evidence that Iraq had those stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction. There was not any evidence that Iraq was responsible for the attacks of September 11, or that Iraq had operational ties to the al Qaeda terrorists who carried them out. By launching a war based on faulty premises and bad intelligence, President Bush failed Wilson's test. - Barack Obama

We should have taken Saddam Hussein out to defend the Kurds, long before he shook hands with the Taliban. The real mistake is that we didn't stop him earlier. Anyone who thinks what Hitler did to the Jews was a crime should have no qualms about invading Iraq to depose Saddam. I think rescuing people groups from extermination is justified. I won't mention the rape rooms and tyrranical atrocities under his reign against the Iraqis. Or should I?
None of this is in answer to what the left has to say about Iraq, it's just common sense. Put out the fire while it's burning your neighbor's house, and you won't have to see your own go up in flames - that's only the selfish side of things. How about Put out the fire while it's burning your neighbor's house, because dammit, you would want him to do the same if it was your house on fire, wouldn't you?

No WMDs, right? Remind me why the UN had inspectors in the country drinking martinis in their hotels - oh yeah, ostensibly to enforce 17 UN pieces of paper on the subject. We all know Saddam had chems, he killed the abovementioned Kurds with them.
I was watching live TV during the initial attacks, and a reporter was filming next to a truckload of missile bodies. The longer-range versions that the UN had outlawed - I saw about 20 of them stacked up like firewood. Where were those missles going? Where did that footage go?

Saddam had no ties to terrorists. Oh-kie-day. Al-Qaeda terrorists. So they were Taliban terrorists, right? I saw this live too: Geraldo Rivera got kicked out of the theater for reporting/drawing a schematic in the dirt on the battle a thousand 101st Airborne troops were having as they encircled a terrorist training camp of 800 or 700 soon-to-be murderers. They put up a good fight, as they were well armed and organized, but the Airborne guys did their jobs better. I'm glad these not-al Qaeda terrorists didn't get a chance to complete their training and subsequently ease through the turnstiles at Disneyland.

If exporting terrorism or WMDs weren't the issue, if it's just that war is the wrong thing to do...

War's a bad thing. But there are worse. Doing nothing is worse, when injustice is being done. Peace is worse, if "peace" is the liberal version where you're letting the bad guys rape/kill/pillage/enslave/do whatever they want, as long as we're not involved by trying to defend the oppressed ones. Korea was no mistake. Vietnam was no mistake - the only mistake was playing politics instead of winning there and ensuring the freedom for S. Vietnam. We rescued Kuwait - that was no mistake. A few million people in Iraq don't think what we've done was a failure or a mistake.

From the Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions Dept.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hey, Here's a Really Funny Political Joke That I Just Made Up

Obama: Knock, knock.

Middle Class White Male: Who's there?

Obama: Obama.

Middle Class White Male: Obama who?

Obama: Obama Barack-knock Joke.

Middle Class White Male: I don't get it.

Obama: That's because you're a racist and clinging to your guns and religion.

Middle Class White Male: ... I have to get that doorbell fixed.

Obama: They didn't have doorbells in Pakistan when I was there.

Middle Class White Male: Can you get off my porch now? I have to go back to watching Fox news.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Tune into TBN Again Dept.

Marketing for Satan.

Oh yeah, here's my response to the call for Satan's Logo ... the challenge of how would Satan and his minions sell their brand if it was a literal mark containing the number 666?

Design Rationale was:
- "666" has to be in the logo.
- A brand name has to be developed. (Think "Zoloft", "Viagra" or "Crestor.")
- Must use "Red". (Satan owns this color. Sorry "Target" and "Coke.")
- Spend no more then 30 minutes on it. (Have work to do.)
- Approach it like a corporate client.
- No cliches. (Think "Devil Horns" and "Trident.")

Here were Von Glitschka's originals (So, Von, you would show the devil just two options?):


My 15 minute try:
And some other fun ones that followed after:





There was some futzing with God-logos, but nobody nailed anything.

Dumb as a Post.

Experiencing continuous growth as it has acquired many organizations in more than a decade, Norway Post launched a new identity that is now part of a bigger family of brands under the new parent company, Bring. A press release has all the information necessary about the set-up of the new company, along with plenty of numbers that establish the importance and relevance of Norway Post and its different branches.

There is something really off about this redesign. Sure, it feels more corporate and like a multimillion enterprise, but there is something about postal service logos that call for a more traditional approach. The old logo featured the Crown of Norway (one of only three logos allowed to use it), a post horn — Norwegian postage stamps since the nineteenth century have featured the advanced sounding arrival mechanism — and a very European sans serif— which may look like Gill Sans, but I think it's Edward Johnston's precursor for the London Underground — that gave the Posten a formal, trustworthy aesthetic.

In contrast, the new logo carries no meaning and, while in five or ten years time it will surely become ubiquitous and recognized, it doesn't stand for anything. This is a very similar case to UPS, where the company was more about its logistics superpowers than the thrill of receiving a package — resulting in a more abstract logo, devoid of meaning. Way to lead by example.

Anyway, to spite those who pinch off design without breaking new characteristic ground, and for those of us who remember the Norge Repairman, here's one implementation of the new logo. Now we know why they removed the horn.

Monday, September 08, 2008

I'm not Waffling, I'm Tilting.

"...one of many skirts. you've gone to the dark side. I hope at least you got an eyeful." - Ridgemaster

GC1EVZ0.
Yeah, I was there at Tilted Kilt and thought, "I can find this without the GPS." And I did find it, since I looked under the WORST POSSIBLE skirt in which to locate a cache at this location. When you go there for a beer, you'll see.

Anyway, I've given up on trying to encourage others to place good caches - I'll just find what's there and try to place good ones. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't keep him from taking a whizz in the river while he's there.

I found a few on my drive up to the 49'ers game over the weekend - worse and worse. It's not just Bako, it's just geocaching in general. We'd have hoped to keep Kern County a cut above in cache quality, but like the air quality here, whenever someone farts in Stockton, we get to smell it. The epidemic is here, the only way to fight it is to stay well yourself. Think healthy, place healthy. Find sick.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Walker IBA

Walker does pull down his pants and show his bared arse now and again, but this has nothing to do with that.

We're looking to make an unholy offspring of an Englishy Brown Ale and an India Pale. So, we're going to have some honey/meady smoothness, a sweet finish (FG above 1012, we hope) but with some lots of high-alpha Cascade for a long boil for India hoppiness and a touch of bitter. That's the plan.

* approx 1.5 lb. Quaker Oats (steeped)
* 1 lb. Crisp Brown Malt. 60-70° L. Green and cracked, hopefully with the high alpha Cascade, will add a touch bitterness to the final product, hopefully. (steeped)
* 6 lb. Briess Sparkling Amber DME 13L
*. 1.5 lb. clover honey
* 2 oz. Cascade Pellets 6.3% alpha. 1 oz (Boil - 66 mins.), .5 oz (Boil - 36 ), .5 oz. (Finishing - 6 mins, plus another 20 during chill, bah)
* a pair of Sabrew s-33s (EDME). Optimum temperature: 64-75° F, but I'm gonna have a hard time maintaining that with this new fridge. I'm gonna miss my in-line temp controller.

Shooting for an OG of 1044ish / FG: 1012+.

Got the yeast going in a couple of cups of honey and sugar water. We stuck in in the oven to hide it from prying hands.
Steeped up the Malt and Oatmeal in some old panty hose (where did that muslin bag go?) 50 mins from 100 to 155. It shure did impart some dark color to the wort. Dunno the lovibond, think soda brown.
Added the extract and the honey, 1 oz of the Cascade - 30 minutes.
Dropped in .5 oz of the Cascade, 30 minutes.
The finishing hops - .5 oz - 6 mins.
Took out the boiling hops, but left the tea ball with the finishing hops at the bottom durning chilling. Just didn't fish it out, but in keeping with the IPA nature of this IBA, we'll just let the bitters do their thing. 20 mins to chill down to 80.

...good thing Walker was here to help heft the boil keg, that sucker felt heavy. He earns his namesake this time. Poured back and forth into the two corneys (one of which blew out of the In valve overnight, and has a stuck fermentation after a day - bah number 2).
Rooted out the yeast from the stove, where it had bloomed out of the measuring bowl and gooped up the stove innards like pancake batter. Pitched the very happy yeast half and half into the kegs (about 4 gals each) and put them into the fridge.

OG of 1042. Fudging a bit at 75 degrees, reading at that temp was 1040. So, maybe a 1043, but we're right in the range. The amber extract (and the light yeast, granted) brought the pre-fermentation color back to a maple sugar brown. Happy days!

Day 3 update: Fridge is running cold - 60 - and try as I might, can't get it to get up to 65+ without just shutting down. Corney #1 is blowin' and goin', #2 was leaking pressure, so on day 3 I've swapped into #2 another corney with a good, oxygenating pour. Fingers crossed on #2!

Day 5: Corney #1 is done fermenting; 1011. Nothing ever happened with #2. Every pull on the relief valve has only ever produced a faint burp. I've got 5 gallons of ready-to-condition beer, and 5 gallons of still-waiting-to-ferment wort. Okay, so I have a great idea. I'll chill and carbonate #1 and rack off the yeast to #2. I know that the yeast from #1 is good - if it can wake up and get #2 going, all will be well, right? So, I rack off what's there into #2, put #1 into the chilly fridge, and wait until morning.

Day 6: Just as a thought before running the yeast from the #1 to the #2, I thought "why not run a hydrometer on #2? ... Has it fermented 25%? 50% ... at all?" So I did. It wasn't fermenting at all because it was done fermenting. 1011. Go figure. If it did all it's work in the first day and a half when the valve was leaking, so much the better. But geez.

Now on to conditioning. Day 7, running the C02 at 30 lbs for 3 hours at 45 degrees. Both show really strong coffee overtones and a backbone of honey sweetness.

Day 8: Racked yeast off the bottom of both corneys and blew off the loose C02 to let the ale rest. Bottled up a couple for Walker to try, after I tasted my way through the gradations of sediment. One day of conditioning for #2, 2 days for #1. What a difference a day makes! Both exchanged all the honey flaves for a round nuttiness, with just a splash of coffee surviving. Where did that nutty brown come from? Oatmeal, I reckon - Quaker Oats FTW? Or those cracked green malts? Time to do some brew testing in upcoming batches.

Now to really do some waiting and see just how brown this green beer can be.
___
The Bottom Line: What happened at last? Well, the fast-fermenting can grew worse with age. The mutations didn't condition out. The slower-fermenting corney was a brew for the ages, though. A perfect nutty-brown with a little hop kick. It didn't last long, although we tried to parcel it out a pint at a time.

Lesson learned: I'm just using Nottingham from now on. I want a fast fermentation, with no worries. Git 'er done! I'll leave the subtlety for the sweet mead-yeast when we bust some must.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Hope for Geocaching... Not!

I see the problem. There's not a defined goal to geocaching. Is this a competitive pursuit, or non-competitive? What's a "good" cache? Everyone knows how to start caching, but no one knows when they're finished.

I think some rules are in place on GC.com that steer cachers toward the wrong conclusions.

People get smileys for finds, and no smileys for placing, so implication #1:
Finding caches is a greater priority than placing caches.
Just look at who the heroes are. Everyone knows who the TeamAlamos and EMCs are, many cachers probably even know approximately how many finds the Finders have. But, does anyone have any idea who's the cacher with the most caches placed? How many caches does the leading Place-r have? Who cares? No one gets smileys for placing.

One Smiley for One Find. Implication #2:
Go after only the easiest caches.
How can you boost the numbers? Power cache the nearest, most accessible, easiest finds you can. Park and Grabs flourish. Hikes, Puzzles and Multis languish. When someone logs their copy/paste of all the caches they bagged on their powercaching excursion, what's your reaction?

...whose goal this weekend was to set our own personal best records. Our attempt was power cache 200 caches in 1 day -SO- we recorded our visits on the log as T200 to expedite our quest. We exceeded our goal! ~~
My# from this adventure= 251 caches in 1 day (Sat. in 17 hrs) / and 422 caches for the weekend.


Do you think that they're superhuman? Or that they bypassed the area's good caches to bag all the dreck? I feel pity, not awe.

Here's an issue: The star system for difficulty rating is veneer only. Ratings are totally subjective to the hider. Not to mention that one cache hider's 2 star is another's 4 star. That, and the question's always so easy when you know the answer. The hiders usually rate the harder ones too easy, since it's hidden just Right There, why can't ppl see it? And the easier ones? The skirt lifters still get two stars, don't ask me why.

Why can't the finders rate the difficulty after they've found it? Consensus wins the day.

Hey, while they're at it, they can rate the quality of the placement. Let the placer get some pointage for extending himself. Otherwise, a smiley a placement turns into another skirt lifter parade, polluting the supply like the demand's already been poisoned.

Anyway, I like the Terracaching rating system. I think it's underused there. The ratings make the multiple points per find/placement possible on that site, but I don't think ppl rate regularly. Don't ask me why.

I conclude that rating's the only ray of sunshiny hope for caching. Until there's a definitive gameplay goal, variable scoring for caches, some reward for placing (better) caches, and ratings for difficulty and quality, caching is gonna continue to serve the lowest common denominator.