Go, Therefore.

But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Today's a rest day, off to Hingepoint church to check it out. L visited last week and was immeasurably moved by the preaching and band. Me, I'm looking for something real in the pews where God is working - doing real world work. Maybe I can join Him there.

I like the atmosphere in the Nile theater. The place is a quirky 70's modern downtown bar/live stage venue on the weekend nights. This morning the spotlights are working on the oversized disco ball and the gogo-dance poles are silently watching the goings on from up stage right. Russ, the pastor, makes a point to preach barefoot and step out onto the monitor speakers. I remember when I was bucking convention walking around barefoot on Sunday mornings. Today's message was rolling into Matthew 28:16 and following - the Great Commission. The talk worked its way through the fact that God still calls those who doubt, that the one who is commissioning has all authority, and the idea that the first point is for us to therefore Go. I ruminated on the four verbs in the passage; Go, Make (disciples), Baptize, Teach. 
The short takeaway is that our lives should be foremost a venture to advance the Kingdom. We only touched on the going, but Russ ended with a challenge to those who felt that they needed to Go - kneel down where you are. I did.

I remember when I was not only willing to go, but wanting to go - and going. I was going to be gone by now, somewhere with half a Bible translated into some unnamed language, and halfway gone from there on to the next stop on the going. Now I'm here, feeling like I'm unable to go, anchored in place with financial mooring chains, encrusted with barnacles, rocking on in the shallow swells of this stale harbor of American christianity. 
So I'm there on the pheaux-hardwood floor, saying I don't know if you want me to go anymore, but I do remember when going was what I was about. I don't even know where I would go if I thought I could. If you want, I want. I would need to hear where. Am I wanted?

Long story short: Sunday night I have an extended dream/nightmare where there's no real plot, just an exploration of a life - my life - survival in a dreadful tropical slum along some polluted shoreline in some third world subsistence hopelessness. Some people have potatoes, most don't. I remember feeling hungry. I remember watching storm waters rising, and wondering where I was supposed to go as waves began to punch the sides of my ratty hovel, certain to wash away.

Somewhere, there are people feeling just this way. Hopeless. How am I to begin to help them? This is the question I'm asked, and asking.