If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. You should check it out.
If you find that the house you've considering buying is built upon or next to a cemetery, or over an ancient Indian burial ground, or it was once a site that was used for black masses, or had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some bloody fashion, be sure to move in right away. Better yet, move in the day before Halloween.
When you find that book on Demon Summoning in the attic, be sure to read it aloud, just as a joke.
Keep all of your sharpened steak knives in one of those wooden block thingies on your kitchen work surface where visitors can find 'em real easy like.
People really enjoy the intellectual stimulation involved in solving puzzles that open portals to Hell. Don't give up! You can do it.
When the power goes out, and the phone suddenly decides to stop working, you should search the basement for the breaker box. You know, the one behind all the big boxes and the mannequin collection.
Should you find someone in your party strangely absent, forget knocking on the bathroom door. Split up and look in all the darkest corners of the house first.
If you're running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice (more if you are of the female persuasion). If you don't fall enough times, be sure to look over your shoulder to see how far behind you the monster is. You'll fall more if you remember that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
When it appears that you have finally killed a monster, always kneel down next to its face to see if it's really dead.
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