Geocaching is silly simple. Few things in life are as good, clean out-and-about fun like this is. Well, clean except for the foxtails.
I enjoy the sense of virtual community we experience. Props to you Bakersfield cachers - you add a dimension to the fun.
Caches are fragile things - only takes one muggle or one bad cacher to ruin it for us all - but it amazingly infrequently happens that way. Geocaching is proof that there's hope for
American society.
I love those caches that are brazenly hidden in plain sight - where only those who are seeking will find 'em. If a thousand people look right at it but never see it, but anyone with
a GPSr in hand can walk right up and grab it, that's an awesome cache in my book.
I think anyone who can place one thoughtfully located, challenging but findable cache is worth more than the guy with 1000 finds but no cache hides. Creating a world class cache is a work of
art, and there's darn few out there who can do it. To those who put up the caches that inspire us to hunt, I salute you.
I believe that we're hiding caches from muggles first, and geocachers second.
You should be able to find any of my hides from the description and coords - the hint is there as a spoiler safety-net only.
I used to say here that I don't want anyone to go home with a DNF. But I realize that making sure-find caches is going to be the sure-death of geocaching. If not today, then tomorrow. They're boring. They're derivative. They're not worth the gas to get there. So I promise to make caches that either take ppl to a remarkable location, or challenge on the find, or batter your brainpan with the puzzle, or any combination of the above, or do something of another nature. Who knows?
I don't, yet. I just know that I don't want to place another monkeyseemonkeydo hide and add to the cache and dash disease destroying our hobby. And I here-and-now promise never to toss a cammo'ed film canister into a dusty, spider-infested poisonous bush and call it a cache. As a hedge lover, heh, I beg you - do the same! I have enough marriage troubles without justifying leaving my own yard work to go dig through a random bush somewhere, only to sign a logsheet.
I think if you log a cache as a find when you didn't actually find the cache, well, karma says that you're gonna get your overdue IRS audit this year.
I believe that Travel Bugs should travel. Seems obvious, but most TBs seem to languish in TB jails. Travel Bug caches that attempt to impose limits on the number of bugs that may come and go are really prisons. “Take a bug, leave a bug” is a nice suggestion, but if it’s a demand, then the bugs are incarcerated. Bugs should be free to do what their owners intended for them to do, travel.
Keep 'em moving, I say!
Hey, you. Yeah, You, the one skanking geocoins from caches into your private collection. May the fleas of a 1000 camels infest your crotch, and may the sun never set on your scratching.
I believe that Happy Meal toys are most happy when cached. They transmute there, in the darkness and quiet, into treasure. Cache with a kid and you'll never feel bad about trading
toys into a cache again.
What we need is a user-compiled rating system for all caches. That way the cream can rise and the stank can sink. The problem isn't micros, it's not knowing which micros suck before
wasting an hour on them. If the FTF can say, "this one's really great" and give it five stars, or a thumbs-up rating, or, conversely, a 1-star/thumbs down instead of the abiguous notation "thanks for placing the cache, SL, yawn", those of us who follow after can concretely figure out which are worth the trip - especially at however-many bucks+ a gallon.
But yes, the premium membership, for those of you who aren't and wondering, is worth the gallon a month.
Finally,
Please, for Pete's sake, don't place micros unless you have a reason.
Trade up!
Replace 'em better than you found 'em.
Give other hiders positive feedback.
Add some TBs and Geocoins to the pool.
and
Thanks for hiding one! Without you, there's no geocache to find, and no geocaching!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Happy First Geoversary!
6/6/07 was my one-year anniversary caching. My year involved:
• 569 Finds, 47 Hides, 34 FTFs & 125 DNFs in 6 states
• 10 Unknowns, 14 Multi's, 6 Virts, 1 Event, 11 Benchmarks, 1 Letterbox, 1 Earthcache
• 240 Geocoins and 123 TBs Moved or Discovered; 41 Geocoins and 9 TBs Owned
• Overall find Rate: 1.55 per day, 10.86 per week
• Total days with a find: 119. Average finds per caching day: 4.78
• Best day: 3/11/07 - 31 finds in San Jose, CA
• Most consecutive days with a find: 11 from 6/05/06 to 6/15/06
• Longest caching drought: 38 days from 11/30/06 to 1/06/07
• Average total cache difficulty: 1.64 - Average total terrain rating: 1.4
• Approximate cache-to-cache distance: 26,934 miles
• 528 of the caches I'd found are still active (92.8%, but this doesn't count the muggled caches I'd DNF'ed!)
• Average log size: 17.2 words - Biggest log: 166 words - Shortest log: 1 word - Number of one-word logs: 3
• (see all your stats in the same way if you're a Premium member at itsnotaboutthenumbers.com) •
I was lucky to encounter three good caches on my first day out -
a well-stocked ammo box cleverly and elegantly hidden (Higher Class
- GCRCK9), an informative virtual (Human Powered Flight - GCBA31),
and an unpretentious, well-hidden but findable medium-sized
challenge (blair's first - GCQVMF). Thanks to luv2fly1479c, Uncle
Alaska and blairwater101, these set the tone for my early days
caching. If I'd been presented with a run of log-only micros and
skirt lifters at the onset, well, I'd not be here writing this
right now.
Noteworthy caches this year? I remember cracking a huge smile driving up on Castleman's Multi-Meter in Porterville (GCW8JG) and having a good laugh at redwoodcanoe & Pleaides' Can You Give Me A Boost? (GCPBTC) in Hanford. I loved the elegance of CA Royal Flush's Our Name Is The Game (GCV01H) puzzle cache in Bakersfield, and the straightforward defiance of Cobalt's Pitcairn (GC55B7) physical challenge not far away. I DNF'ed hard on Razor Sharp Catwalk (GCT4ZZ) in San Jose - what a heinous location! Blue Man's Orlando Airport TB Hotel (GCBDC2) in Florida held over 20 TBs and Coins, and always seems to stay stuffed with goods.
… shuffles papers, returns …
Yeah, of 569 finds this year, there were twice as many micros as regulars, and I have to admit that very few stand out as remarkable as I look back. Dreck hides are the death knell for geocaching, something we have got to get under control if Geocaching is going to have a future beyond 20-find tries. In a year, I've seen excited explorers out to cache for the first time, and, after a series of skirt lifters, obvious hides in trashy locations, standard issue micros and bush dives, return home disenchanted. Then I hear And this is the Geocaching that you're so into, Hedge? Embarrassing.
That said, I see that I'm going to be spending more time hiding than seeking this year. If only because I've exhausted caches to find in the Bakersfield area (actually, I pretty much ran the table for Kern County in my first couple of months this year) and it will take less time to plant a new hide than to drive to the finds.
I said a few things about hiding caches in the forums, under the heading "Hiding and Marking your New Cache - for Newbies!" Maybe some of it still makes sense.
• 569 Finds, 47 Hides, 34 FTFs & 125 DNFs in 6 states
• 10 Unknowns, 14 Multi's, 6 Virts, 1 Event, 11 Benchmarks, 1 Letterbox, 1 Earthcache
• 240 Geocoins and 123 TBs Moved or Discovered; 41 Geocoins and 9 TBs Owned
• Overall find Rate: 1.55 per day, 10.86 per week
• Total days with a find: 119. Average finds per caching day: 4.78
• Best day: 3/11/07 - 31 finds in San Jose, CA
• Most consecutive days with a find: 11 from 6/05/06 to 6/15/06
• Longest caching drought: 38 days from 11/30/06 to 1/06/07
• Average total cache difficulty: 1.64 - Average total terrain rating: 1.4
• Approximate cache-to-cache distance: 26,934 miles
• 528 of the caches I'd found are still active (92.8%, but this doesn't count the muggled caches I'd DNF'ed!)
• Average log size: 17.2 words - Biggest log: 166 words - Shortest log: 1 word - Number of one-word logs: 3
• (see all your stats in the same way if you're a Premium member at itsnotaboutthenumbers.com) •
I was lucky to encounter three good caches on my first day out -
a well-stocked ammo box cleverly and elegantly hidden (Higher Class
- GCRCK9), an informative virtual (Human Powered Flight - GCBA31),
and an unpretentious, well-hidden but findable medium-sized
challenge (blair's first - GCQVMF). Thanks to luv2fly1479c, Uncle
Alaska and blairwater101, these set the tone for my early days
caching. If I'd been presented with a run of log-only micros and
skirt lifters at the onset, well, I'd not be here writing this
right now.
Noteworthy caches this year? I remember cracking a huge smile driving up on Castleman's Multi-Meter in Porterville (GCW8JG) and having a good laugh at redwoodcanoe & Pleaides' Can You Give Me A Boost? (GCPBTC) in Hanford. I loved the elegance of CA Royal Flush's Our Name Is The Game (GCV01H) puzzle cache in Bakersfield, and the straightforward defiance of Cobalt's Pitcairn (GC55B7) physical challenge not far away. I DNF'ed hard on Razor Sharp Catwalk (GCT4ZZ) in San Jose - what a heinous location! Blue Man's Orlando Airport TB Hotel (GCBDC2) in Florida held over 20 TBs and Coins, and always seems to stay stuffed with goods.
… shuffles papers, returns …
Yeah, of 569 finds this year, there were twice as many micros as regulars, and I have to admit that very few stand out as remarkable as I look back. Dreck hides are the death knell for geocaching, something we have got to get under control if Geocaching is going to have a future beyond 20-find tries. In a year, I've seen excited explorers out to cache for the first time, and, after a series of skirt lifters, obvious hides in trashy locations, standard issue micros and bush dives, return home disenchanted. Then I hear And this is the Geocaching that you're so into, Hedge? Embarrassing.
That said, I see that I'm going to be spending more time hiding than seeking this year. If only because I've exhausted caches to find in the Bakersfield area (actually, I pretty much ran the table for Kern County in my first couple of months this year) and it will take less time to plant a new hide than to drive to the finds.
I said a few things about hiding caches in the forums, under the heading "Hiding and Marking your New Cache - for Newbies!" Maybe some of it still makes sense.
Happy Second Geoversary!
After two years caching, here's what my stats looked like. Draw your own conclusions.
| Stat Summary |
| Charts and Graphs |
My 777th find on 2/21/08 was an unknown: GC12N21 - Central Park Carousel in NYC. Guess that number was significant for me, mostly because it wasn't a skirt lifter milesone. |
Snarky Geocache Logs We'd Like to See
Enjoyed finding your cache. After much deliberation,
we decided to take the emerald earrings, and leave a rolex watch.
It's not every day that one finds such a high class hide. Let's
hope it never gets muggled. Thanks for the fun.
This was the 7th cache of the day. Thank you for bringing us to the
dumpster behind the take out chicken place. I had no idea that
grease baking in the sun could smell that bad.
Thanks for bringing us to your very special place!
My, what a lame cache. As soon as I came in site of the Wal-mart
sign I knew what I was going to find and where to look. Parked 200
feet away and left GPSr in the car to add to the challenge.
A 12-billion dollar satellite system overhead, and this is the best
hide you could come up with! TNLN and almost didn't bother signing
the log!!
This cache is still making me angry!
This cache made me fall in love with caching again! Nice view of
the alley!
Thanks for introducing me to a new area. Left a Travel Bug so
others could see how bad this cache is.
This cache was a head-scratcher!
This cache is the reason the phrase TNLNSL was coined. One more for
the record books!!
AWESOME CACHE!! THE ADDITION OF BEER CANS AND BROKEN GLASS AS CAMO WAS TIMELESS!!! POISONOUS SPIDERS AND OLEANDER ONLY ADDED TO THE AMBIANCE!!!! A+++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we decided to take the emerald earrings, and leave a rolex watch.
It's not every day that one finds such a high class hide. Let's
hope it never gets muggled. Thanks for the fun.
This was the 7th cache of the day. Thank you for bringing us to the
dumpster behind the take out chicken place. I had no idea that
grease baking in the sun could smell that bad.
Thanks for bringing us to your very special place!
My, what a lame cache. As soon as I came in site of the Wal-mart
sign I knew what I was going to find and where to look. Parked 200
feet away and left GPSr in the car to add to the challenge.
A 12-billion dollar satellite system overhead, and this is the best
hide you could come up with! TNLN and almost didn't bother signing
the log!!
This cache is still making me angry!
This cache made me fall in love with caching again! Nice view of
the alley!
Thanks for introducing me to a new area. Left a Travel Bug so
others could see how bad this cache is.
This cache was a head-scratcher!
This cache is the reason the phrase TNLNSL was coined. One more for
the record books!!
AWESOME CACHE!! THE ADDITION OF BEER CANS AND BROKEN GLASS AS CAMO WAS TIMELESS!!! POISONOUS SPIDERS AND OLEANDER ONLY ADDED TO THE AMBIANCE!!!! A+++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
It's a Brand Loyalty thing, after all.
The Bottom Line on Oakley®: They're the greatest glasses, sure. But this company has the right attitude.
Follow the Leader?
Oakley's the eyewear company that the other eyewear companies model themselves after. They are the cutting edge, with their Mad Science design team going through thousands of sketches to get an unprecedented look, thousands of molds to get seamless joints, and spending insane amounts of money to build different-better-new. These guys purchased an entire factory in Arizona just to kiln the freaky elements found in their M frames at solar temperatures.
That may not mean a fig to the guy who wants to just buy a pair of shades off the rack (or worse, a pirated knockoff), but for those who appreciate innovation and original design, Oakley is sunglass-square one.
Tomorrow's Look, Today
Thumbing through the 20th anniversary issue of Triathlete magazine, I remembered pictures of some of the famous faces of Triathlon from the 80's. They were all wearing Oakleys at the time, and I remember, back then, thinking how radical a look those glasses presented. Tame by today's standards, those Oakleys look like today's Ray Bans. It's no coincidence that nearly all of today's still-flamboyant triathletes wear Oakleys.
And it's no coincidence that when Hollywood wants a mod, futuristic look (saw the Matrix?), or a hip, now look (saw Mission Impossible II?), the costumers turn to Oakley for the spectacles.
No Questions Asked
I'm the kind of consumer who looks for products with Unconditional Lifetime Guarantees, but I rarely, if ever, take advantage of them. If something breaks, I usually disregard the warranty and just buy another one. Don't ask me why.
The one time I can remember returning a product was very recently: I'd absentmindedly rubbed my fingerprinted lenses on my one-week-old pair of Oakley Zeroes against the stomach of my shirt to clean them, and they snapped. They're a lightweight frame, but I wasn't putting that much pressure on them.
So I sent them back in a little box with a little note. Ten days later, I received a little box with a little note and a new pair of Zeroes. No questions asked. Oakley's batting .1000 with me on their returns policy.
Brand Loyalty - in Reverse
I love Oakley. I love Oakley, the company, not because they make the best sunglasses, but because of Lance.
We all know what a mind-boggling comeback Lance Armstrong made to win three consecutive Tour de France titles after a grim battle with testicular cancer. What we all don't know is that during his ordeal with cancer, when all those sponsors who hounded him after his Olympic success weren't renewing his contracts, when he was dropped by the French cycling team Cofidis, when no ranked European race teams would return his phone calls, only one sponsor stood by him. During the darkest hours of his struggle, Oakley quietly picked up Armstrong's health insurance, putting him on their payroll to do so.
Loyalty should mean something to a company, I think. With this one grand gesture, Oakley forever wins my loyalty to the company, in turn.
Follow the Leader?
Oakley's the eyewear company that the other eyewear companies model themselves after. They are the cutting edge, with their Mad Science design team going through thousands of sketches to get an unprecedented look, thousands of molds to get seamless joints, and spending insane amounts of money to build different-better-new. These guys purchased an entire factory in Arizona just to kiln the freaky elements found in their M frames at solar temperatures.
That may not mean a fig to the guy who wants to just buy a pair of shades off the rack (or worse, a pirated knockoff), but for those who appreciate innovation and original design, Oakley is sunglass-square one.
Tomorrow's Look, Today
Thumbing through the 20th anniversary issue of Triathlete magazine, I remembered pictures of some of the famous faces of Triathlon from the 80's. They were all wearing Oakleys at the time, and I remember, back then, thinking how radical a look those glasses presented. Tame by today's standards, those Oakleys look like today's Ray Bans. It's no coincidence that nearly all of today's still-flamboyant triathletes wear Oakleys.
And it's no coincidence that when Hollywood wants a mod, futuristic look (saw the Matrix?), or a hip, now look (saw Mission Impossible II?), the costumers turn to Oakley for the spectacles.
No Questions Asked
I'm the kind of consumer who looks for products with Unconditional Lifetime Guarantees, but I rarely, if ever, take advantage of them. If something breaks, I usually disregard the warranty and just buy another one. Don't ask me why.
The one time I can remember returning a product was very recently: I'd absentmindedly rubbed my fingerprinted lenses on my one-week-old pair of Oakley Zeroes against the stomach of my shirt to clean them, and they snapped. They're a lightweight frame, but I wasn't putting that much pressure on them.
So I sent them back in a little box with a little note. Ten days later, I received a little box with a little note and a new pair of Zeroes. No questions asked. Oakley's batting .1000 with me on their returns policy.
Brand Loyalty - in Reverse
I love Oakley. I love Oakley, the company, not because they make the best sunglasses, but because of Lance.
We all know what a mind-boggling comeback Lance Armstrong made to win three consecutive Tour de France titles after a grim battle with testicular cancer. What we all don't know is that during his ordeal with cancer, when all those sponsors who hounded him after his Olympic success weren't renewing his contracts, when he was dropped by the French cycling team Cofidis, when no ranked European race teams would return his phone calls, only one sponsor stood by him. During the darkest hours of his struggle, Oakley quietly picked up Armstrong's health insurance, putting him on their payroll to do so.
Loyalty should mean something to a company, I think. With this one grand gesture, Oakley forever wins my loyalty to the company, in turn.
Beer: It Ain't Beer
The Bottom Line: It ain't beer.
We Americans put some really stupid stuff into our beer. We take out some really great stuff from our beer. We don't really deserve to call what we make and drink beer. We pretend we're drinking soft drinks. Where will it end?
We Americans put some really stupid stuff into our beer. That's why it ain't beer. If you plop a turd into a punch bowl, do you still consider the punch bowl's contents punch? Mmmm, poo-nch. Heck, no. But here we are, diluting good golden, sun-ripened heartland barley malt with corn and rice, cooking it up and calling the derivative beer.
The Germans knew we'd try to bastardize beer 500 years ago. In an effort to avert potential disaster, they wrote up the German Purity Law (in thick-tongued English, after a tipping a few back, pronounced "Reinheitsgebot") delineating barley, hops and water as the only possible ingredients used in the brewing of beer. I think it's because they'd tasted Sake and Moonshine and didn't want any parallel Teutonic futures to include beer-mutations made from rice or corn products. Forward-looking race, those Germans.
Anyway, barley, hops and water. That's beer. Since the Germans of 1516 didn't know anything about microorganisms, we give everyone a pass and include yeast in a modern listing of ingredients. Barley, hops, yeast and water, okay. But that's where it has to end! The Germans bombed and bombed and bombed the English during WWII for thumbing their reddened noses at the Reinheitsgebot with their upraised pints of Oatmeal stout. But did the English get the message? Heck no.
And neither did we, obviously. I mean, don't expect me to even go into how we Americans get really, really stupid and add peaches, limes, lemons, raspberry extracts, chili peppers and even Cheerios to our beers. That's not beer! You don't have to have read the Reinheitsgebot to know that nothing good can come of such unholy experimentation.
How long can we show such a blatant disregard for iron German law? It's only a matter of time before the Germans come for us. And we'll have no one to blame but ourselves for the carnage.
Besides, I think the Mexicans are behind it. I think they're trying to start some trouble between America and Germany, then woosh swoop in over our border and reclaim all that land they lost at the Alamo. And then some. The first time someone handed me a Mexican beer with a slice of lime stuffed into the bottle's mouth, I figured that the feller was trying to save me. You know, don't drink the water, and all that. I had no idea he was serious. But now I know what a deadly serious Fifth Columnist he was.
We Americans take out some really great stuff from our beers. Stuff like nutrition, flavor, and the yeast.
Beer is supposed to be a living thing - you know, little living yeasties consuming malt sugars and peeing out alcohol and tooting Co2. That's fermentation, the beer-making process. Open your mouth; taste; swallow water, malt, hops, yeast, peed alcohol; belch tooted Co2. That's intoxication, the beer-drinking process. At least in the countries where people drink real beer.
Here in America, brewing our proprietary beers is not so simple. We have to work to extract all the life from the stuff. Sure, we force the yeast to eat those corn/rice additives and still do their fermentation in lively fashion, but then what? Run the derivative through a filter and strain out the yeast. After all their hard work, is that all the thanks they get? Sure! Next, spin the concoction down in a centrifuge and separate the liquid from the color and substance. Fine! Oh, and then pasteurize the remainder to neutralize any elements left that even remotely show signs of life. Great!
Then, insult to injury, why not sticker the bottle with a Born-On dated label to create the illusion that it's a fresh and living thing instead of the flavorless, bodiless, lifeless corpse of a beer? Because that's what it is, I guarantee it.
As far as the beer-drinking process in America is concerned, the only ones who really get it are the high-school and college students. They're young. They don't appreciate what the breweries had to accomplish to remove the flavor and life from their beers. They only know that it shouldn't come in contact with their tastebuds, so they, in their youthful exuberance and creativity, build beer bongs, shotguns and funnels. And the flow continues.
But it's not beer that's flowing!
Let's hold up for a minute. We don't really even deserve to call what we make and drink beer. We can't in good conscience call this American corn/rice/malt derivative-beverage beer! I suggest that we hereafter use "corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverage" to avoid any misrepresentation. We're drinking corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages! That's why it ain't beer.
We add all this other stuff, we drain the life from it. It's no wonder we Americans pretend we're drinking soft drinks when we're sipping one of our corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages.
I mean, which came first? Lite beer, or diet Soda? Weren't they born-on the same date? Do you really think, oh smug American man with that Coors Light in your hand, that the Germans are going to be drinking light Bier as they marshal their strength for a sudden retributory strike at the heart of America? I don't think so! Don't you know what damage you're doing to the international prestige of The Home Of The Brave? Isn't it bad enough that Aussies snigger contemptuously and the Irish shoot ale from their noses when they talk about how insubstantial our regular corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages are? And yet you have the impudence to purchase a lightened version?
It's people like you who weaken America in the eyes of the world and make America a laughingstock to those who we would hope to lead. OH, sure! You didn't make America a laughingstock; Bill Clinton was to blame for that. Riiiight. Pointing fingers won't deflect attention from that pathetic can of mostly-water you're holding, son.
How twisted, emasculated and weak! How far we have fallen! And here is the ultimate sign that the apocalypse is upon us: the latest American craze is to paint and sugar corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages into lemonade or orangeade lookalikes; or to sweeten them up while simultaneously taking all the coloring and body out to simulate an alcoholic Seven-Up. It's the end of the world as we know it, surely.
But this final step into absurdity might actually be a hopeful, healthy step in the direction of healing. We may snap out of our inebriation to look with eyes that truly see upon that underachieving glass of liquid before us. We may awaken and avert certain destruction if we're actually no longer pretending that we're really drinking beer.
'Cause we ain't.
We Americans put some really stupid stuff into our beer. We take out some really great stuff from our beer. We don't really deserve to call what we make and drink beer. We pretend we're drinking soft drinks. Where will it end?
We Americans put some really stupid stuff into our beer. That's why it ain't beer. If you plop a turd into a punch bowl, do you still consider the punch bowl's contents punch? Mmmm, poo-nch. Heck, no. But here we are, diluting good golden, sun-ripened heartland barley malt with corn and rice, cooking it up and calling the derivative beer.
The Germans knew we'd try to bastardize beer 500 years ago. In an effort to avert potential disaster, they wrote up the German Purity Law (in thick-tongued English, after a tipping a few back, pronounced "Reinheitsgebot") delineating barley, hops and water as the only possible ingredients used in the brewing of beer. I think it's because they'd tasted Sake and Moonshine and didn't want any parallel Teutonic futures to include beer-mutations made from rice or corn products. Forward-looking race, those Germans.
Anyway, barley, hops and water. That's beer. Since the Germans of 1516 didn't know anything about microorganisms, we give everyone a pass and include yeast in a modern listing of ingredients. Barley, hops, yeast and water, okay. But that's where it has to end! The Germans bombed and bombed and bombed the English during WWII for thumbing their reddened noses at the Reinheitsgebot with their upraised pints of Oatmeal stout. But did the English get the message? Heck no.
And neither did we, obviously. I mean, don't expect me to even go into how we Americans get really, really stupid and add peaches, limes, lemons, raspberry extracts, chili peppers and even Cheerios to our beers. That's not beer! You don't have to have read the Reinheitsgebot to know that nothing good can come of such unholy experimentation.
How long can we show such a blatant disregard for iron German law? It's only a matter of time before the Germans come for us. And we'll have no one to blame but ourselves for the carnage.
Besides, I think the Mexicans are behind it. I think they're trying to start some trouble between America and Germany, then woosh swoop in over our border and reclaim all that land they lost at the Alamo. And then some. The first time someone handed me a Mexican beer with a slice of lime stuffed into the bottle's mouth, I figured that the feller was trying to save me. You know, don't drink the water, and all that. I had no idea he was serious. But now I know what a deadly serious Fifth Columnist he was.
We Americans take out some really great stuff from our beers. Stuff like nutrition, flavor, and the yeast.
Beer is supposed to be a living thing - you know, little living yeasties consuming malt sugars and peeing out alcohol and tooting Co2. That's fermentation, the beer-making process. Open your mouth; taste; swallow water, malt, hops, yeast, peed alcohol; belch tooted Co2. That's intoxication, the beer-drinking process. At least in the countries where people drink real beer.
Here in America, brewing our proprietary beers is not so simple. We have to work to extract all the life from the stuff. Sure, we force the yeast to eat those corn/rice additives and still do their fermentation in lively fashion, but then what? Run the derivative through a filter and strain out the yeast. After all their hard work, is that all the thanks they get? Sure! Next, spin the concoction down in a centrifuge and separate the liquid from the color and substance. Fine! Oh, and then pasteurize the remainder to neutralize any elements left that even remotely show signs of life. Great!
Then, insult to injury, why not sticker the bottle with a Born-On dated label to create the illusion that it's a fresh and living thing instead of the flavorless, bodiless, lifeless corpse of a beer? Because that's what it is, I guarantee it.
As far as the beer-drinking process in America is concerned, the only ones who really get it are the high-school and college students. They're young. They don't appreciate what the breweries had to accomplish to remove the flavor and life from their beers. They only know that it shouldn't come in contact with their tastebuds, so they, in their youthful exuberance and creativity, build beer bongs, shotguns and funnels. And the flow continues.
But it's not beer that's flowing!
Let's hold up for a minute. We don't really even deserve to call what we make and drink beer. We can't in good conscience call this American corn/rice/malt derivative-beverage beer! I suggest that we hereafter use "corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverage" to avoid any misrepresentation. We're drinking corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages! That's why it ain't beer.
We add all this other stuff, we drain the life from it. It's no wonder we Americans pretend we're drinking soft drinks when we're sipping one of our corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages.
I mean, which came first? Lite beer, or diet Soda? Weren't they born-on the same date? Do you really think, oh smug American man with that Coors Light in your hand, that the Germans are going to be drinking light Bier as they marshal their strength for a sudden retributory strike at the heart of America? I don't think so! Don't you know what damage you're doing to the international prestige of The Home Of The Brave? Isn't it bad enough that Aussies snigger contemptuously and the Irish shoot ale from their noses when they talk about how insubstantial our regular corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages are? And yet you have the impudence to purchase a lightened version?
It's people like you who weaken America in the eyes of the world and make America a laughingstock to those who we would hope to lead. OH, sure! You didn't make America a laughingstock; Bill Clinton was to blame for that. Riiiight. Pointing fingers won't deflect attention from that pathetic can of mostly-water you're holding, son.
How twisted, emasculated and weak! How far we have fallen! And here is the ultimate sign that the apocalypse is upon us: the latest American craze is to paint and sugar corn/rice/malt derivative beer-alternative-beverages into lemonade or orangeade lookalikes; or to sweeten them up while simultaneously taking all the coloring and body out to simulate an alcoholic Seven-Up. It's the end of the world as we know it, surely.
But this final step into absurdity might actually be a hopeful, healthy step in the direction of healing. We may snap out of our inebriation to look with eyes that truly see upon that underachieving glass of liquid before us. We may awaken and avert certain destruction if we're actually no longer pretending that we're really drinking beer.
'Cause we ain't.
What Should You Know About Second Stage SCUBA Regulators
You learned as a toddler to avoid sticking bad things in your mouth. That's still true now that you're a diver.
People drown underwater if they don't get lungfuls of air on a timely schedule. That's all the reason any diver needs to explore the purchase of a high-quality second stage regulator when buying SCUBA gear.
What is a Second Stage Regulator?
SCUBA regulators mitigate the highly pressurized air in your tank so you can breathe it without expanding like a pufferfish. Regulators are either first stage or second stages; the first stage attaches directly to the valve on the tank, and the second stage attaches directly to the diver's mouth. The first stage delivers air pressure continually to the second stage, but the second stage should only release airflow when the diver inhales.
Three Types of Second Stage Regulators
Second stages come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but are manufactured using only three basic valve designs: Upstream, Downstream, and Pilot.
• Upstream Valves place the airflow stopper before the breathing orifice (on the up-airstream side), and are useful when the first stage regulator delivers a varying air pressure. The cracking pressure, or pressure required to open the valve and allow air to flow to the diver, is less able to be exactly adjusted in Upstream valves than in Downstream valves. Upstream valves are less expensive and don't require much tweaking before dives.
If the first stage fails, the Upstream valve will be pressed closed by the increased air pressure, so these second stages must be equipped with an additional pressure relief valve to avoid rupturing the air hose in the event of a failure.
• Downstream Valves place the airflow stopper after the breathing orifice (on the down-airstream side), and are the most popular type of second stage regulators on the market. They are useful when the first stage regulator delivers a constant air pressure, and the cracking pressure can be set very precisely to suit the diver's preference. Downstream valves are more expensive to manufacture and require more maintenance than Upstream valves.
If the first stage fails, a Downstream valve will automatically open and freeflow air.
• Pilot Valves incorporate an additional small valve (called, coincidentally, the Pilot valve) which is opened by the lowered internal pressure when the diver inhales. Some divers swear by this design, whereas others find it overly complicated and temperamental. On inhalation, the diver may experience a delay before getting air as the pilot valve opens.
My take: there's reasons why Downstream valves are the most widely used second stage regs today. Contemporary first stages are reliable, and most deliver a consistent hose pressure, making the additional mechanisms of Upstream valves unnecessary. Also, the Downstream design is mechanically more apt to freeflow in the event of a failure - a huge plus on my tally sheet.
An Additional Consideration: Exhaust Ports
Most second stage regs have twin exhalation ports placed symmetrically on the right and left sides. Another design is to have a single exhaust port placed asymmetrically on either the right or left side of the mouthpiece.
Most divers use the symmetrical style; they exhaust air to the "up" side (and thus, more easily avoid bubbles crossing the diver's mask and blocking vision), are easy to clear, and simple to repair. Asymmetrical regulators are generally smaller (thus lighter and with less swimming resistance), and can be used over either right or left shoulder, but are generally more expensive, will exhaust bubbles across the mask, and must have the exhaust port in a downward attitude to clear, which can be problematic in practice (or when buddy breathing).
What to Look for When Comparing Second Stages
Some manufacturers have priced their regulators so that there is a markup when buying first and second stages separately, so if you're concerned about price, look to buy a complete set up: first and second stage, secondary/octopus, hoses and attachments, and, quite probably if you have the means, an integrated computer console with depth and pressure gauges. A look at the entirety of regulator systems is beyond the scope of what I've attempted here. Even if you're buying an integrated system, take a close look at the included second stage(s) and consider the following:
Comfort. Most divers should only think about their second stage in a couple of instances:
1. When they want to take a breath, but the regulator isn't in their piehole for any of a number of bothersome reasons (having purchased the best regulator on the market doesn't help someone in this situation), or
2. When sideways hose pull, or jaw/mouth discomfort focus their attentions on the bothersome regulator and away from all the pretty fishes. This situation can be avoided by being sure to buy a reg with a flexible hose, hose of correct length, a "hinged" attachment that allows the reg to swivel around, and a mouthpiece that's neither too stiff, sharp, or large. Also, consider a mouthpiece that can be fitted precisely to your bite by heating and biting, the way football mouthpieces are.
Construction. How hard are you on your equipment? Plastic second stages can be lighter than metal ones but less durable. Or, one can go all-out and buy a super-light and bombproof carbon fiber reg.
Is the cracking pressure easily tuned? Cracking pressure should be adjustable to as low a threshold as possible, to make breathing as effortless as possible. If you have to suck on the regulator with each inhalation, that's unnecessarily tiring.
Does the reg deliver positive pressure? On the other hand, if the reg is pushing air into you, that's positive pressure, and it's actually a negative. If you test dive a regulator and feel like it's blowing you up like a balloon, that's an indicator that the regulator may be unreliable.
Also, some regulators are simply touchy - either under pressure, or lack of pressure - does this model have a reputation to freeflow periodically at either depth or near the surface? For example, a reg unit that likes to freeflow near the surface can empty a lot of your tank as you pass through the surf zone - before your shore dive really begins.
Is there any cracking delay? Pilot valves can unsettle a diver with an unnatural hesitation before delivering air - a delay before cracking open. Cracking delay makes for an unnatural breathing rhythm, and sure-fire way to cultivate claustrophobia at depth.
How big are the exhaust port(s)? The larger the holes, the more easily air can be exhaled through them. This is especially significant for those who go deep, where the air is more dense.
Does the rig include an additional second stage (an "octopus") for backup and buddy-emergencies? If so, is it of the same design and quality of the primary? Many setups include an octopus as a feature, but shave cost by choosing one of inferior quality.
What's the big deal, you ask? Well, while the chance of you ever really having to use it are (hopefully) slim, you surely want that octopus to function when you need it. Or consider this scenario: your cheap octopus begins leaking a steady stream of bubbles from your tank to the ocean. What a great way to shorten your dive! Avoid air loss and gain peace of mind by looking for the same quality in your octopus as your primary.
People drown underwater if they don't get lungfuls of air on a timely schedule. That's all the reason any diver needs to explore the purchase of a high-quality second stage regulator when buying SCUBA gear.
What is a Second Stage Regulator?
SCUBA regulators mitigate the highly pressurized air in your tank so you can breathe it without expanding like a pufferfish. Regulators are either first stage or second stages; the first stage attaches directly to the valve on the tank, and the second stage attaches directly to the diver's mouth. The first stage delivers air pressure continually to the second stage, but the second stage should only release airflow when the diver inhales.
Three Types of Second Stage Regulators
Second stages come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but are manufactured using only three basic valve designs: Upstream, Downstream, and Pilot.
• Upstream Valves place the airflow stopper before the breathing orifice (on the up-airstream side), and are useful when the first stage regulator delivers a varying air pressure. The cracking pressure, or pressure required to open the valve and allow air to flow to the diver, is less able to be exactly adjusted in Upstream valves than in Downstream valves. Upstream valves are less expensive and don't require much tweaking before dives.
If the first stage fails, the Upstream valve will be pressed closed by the increased air pressure, so these second stages must be equipped with an additional pressure relief valve to avoid rupturing the air hose in the event of a failure.
• Downstream Valves place the airflow stopper after the breathing orifice (on the down-airstream side), and are the most popular type of second stage regulators on the market. They are useful when the first stage regulator delivers a constant air pressure, and the cracking pressure can be set very precisely to suit the diver's preference. Downstream valves are more expensive to manufacture and require more maintenance than Upstream valves.
If the first stage fails, a Downstream valve will automatically open and freeflow air.
• Pilot Valves incorporate an additional small valve (called, coincidentally, the Pilot valve) which is opened by the lowered internal pressure when the diver inhales. Some divers swear by this design, whereas others find it overly complicated and temperamental. On inhalation, the diver may experience a delay before getting air as the pilot valve opens.
My take: there's reasons why Downstream valves are the most widely used second stage regs today. Contemporary first stages are reliable, and most deliver a consistent hose pressure, making the additional mechanisms of Upstream valves unnecessary. Also, the Downstream design is mechanically more apt to freeflow in the event of a failure - a huge plus on my tally sheet.
An Additional Consideration: Exhaust Ports
Most second stage regs have twin exhalation ports placed symmetrically on the right and left sides. Another design is to have a single exhaust port placed asymmetrically on either the right or left side of the mouthpiece.
Most divers use the symmetrical style; they exhaust air to the "up" side (and thus, more easily avoid bubbles crossing the diver's mask and blocking vision), are easy to clear, and simple to repair. Asymmetrical regulators are generally smaller (thus lighter and with less swimming resistance), and can be used over either right or left shoulder, but are generally more expensive, will exhaust bubbles across the mask, and must have the exhaust port in a downward attitude to clear, which can be problematic in practice (or when buddy breathing).
What to Look for When Comparing Second Stages
Some manufacturers have priced their regulators so that there is a markup when buying first and second stages separately, so if you're concerned about price, look to buy a complete set up: first and second stage, secondary/octopus, hoses and attachments, and, quite probably if you have the means, an integrated computer console with depth and pressure gauges. A look at the entirety of regulator systems is beyond the scope of what I've attempted here. Even if you're buying an integrated system, take a close look at the included second stage(s) and consider the following:
Comfort. Most divers should only think about their second stage in a couple of instances:
1. When they want to take a breath, but the regulator isn't in their piehole for any of a number of bothersome reasons (having purchased the best regulator on the market doesn't help someone in this situation), or
2. When sideways hose pull, or jaw/mouth discomfort focus their attentions on the bothersome regulator and away from all the pretty fishes. This situation can be avoided by being sure to buy a reg with a flexible hose, hose of correct length, a "hinged" attachment that allows the reg to swivel around, and a mouthpiece that's neither too stiff, sharp, or large. Also, consider a mouthpiece that can be fitted precisely to your bite by heating and biting, the way football mouthpieces are.
Construction. How hard are you on your equipment? Plastic second stages can be lighter than metal ones but less durable. Or, one can go all-out and buy a super-light and bombproof carbon fiber reg.
Is the cracking pressure easily tuned? Cracking pressure should be adjustable to as low a threshold as possible, to make breathing as effortless as possible. If you have to suck on the regulator with each inhalation, that's unnecessarily tiring.
Does the reg deliver positive pressure? On the other hand, if the reg is pushing air into you, that's positive pressure, and it's actually a negative. If you test dive a regulator and feel like it's blowing you up like a balloon, that's an indicator that the regulator may be unreliable.
Also, some regulators are simply touchy - either under pressure, or lack of pressure - does this model have a reputation to freeflow periodically at either depth or near the surface? For example, a reg unit that likes to freeflow near the surface can empty a lot of your tank as you pass through the surf zone - before your shore dive really begins.
Is there any cracking delay? Pilot valves can unsettle a diver with an unnatural hesitation before delivering air - a delay before cracking open. Cracking delay makes for an unnatural breathing rhythm, and sure-fire way to cultivate claustrophobia at depth.
How big are the exhaust port(s)? The larger the holes, the more easily air can be exhaled through them. This is especially significant for those who go deep, where the air is more dense.
Does the rig include an additional second stage (an "octopus") for backup and buddy-emergencies? If so, is it of the same design and quality of the primary? Many setups include an octopus as a feature, but shave cost by choosing one of inferior quality.
What's the big deal, you ask? Well, while the chance of you ever really having to use it are (hopefully) slim, you surely want that octopus to function when you need it. Or consider this scenario: your cheap octopus begins leaking a steady stream of bubbles from your tank to the ocean. What a great way to shorten your dive! Avoid air loss and gain peace of mind by looking for the same quality in your octopus as your primary.
Your Friend the First Stage SCUBA Regulator
You need one, unless you can breathe air pressurized to 3000 lbs, okay?
So you're wondering how you even found yourself here in this technical backwater, and you're thinking, what are you doing here Hedge? No one wants to even think about their first-stage regulator, let alone read about 'em, or worse, write about 'em. Get a life!
Don't we both have some diving to do?
True enough - I'd really rather be diving! But without a reliable, functional and durable first stage, none of us is going to do any diving at all. That is, unless we want to do that breath-hold type of diving. But that's not what y'all had in mind, is it? So, let's take a look at this underappreciated workhorse piece of SCUBA apparatus and come away with a new-found appreciation and love for the First Stage Regulator.
What is a First Stage anyway?
The first thing you should know about your first stage regulator is that it isn't the second stage regulator! Your first stage is the metal doohickey that attaches to the valve atop your air tank, reducing the high air pressure down to an intermediate pressure that your second stage regulator (the other doohickey that you actually stick into your mouth and breathe into and out of) can manage. The two work together to regulate the airflow from your tank and are both absolutely necessary - but for some reason, the second stage regulator gets all the attention. Divers do a lot of handling of/kissing on the second stage; but if your first stage is working correctly, you don't ever even have to think about it, let alone give it a smooch after a dive well done (something I suggest should be a regular part of your diving routine).
Types of First Stages
There are really only four first stage designs. The working mechanism is either a Diaphragm or Piston, and these two are broken down into a Balanced or Unbalanced variety:
• Unbalanced Diaphragm is an anachronistic design, and these types of regulators aren't manufactured today.
• Balanced Diaphragm first stages involve an additional low-pressure air chamber in their design (the balancing chamber, hence the name) and therefore incorporate more moving parts than Piston-type first stages. Their moving parts are protected from water and the elements, however. The technical complexities required to manufacture and service Balanced diaphragm regulators make them more expensive to buy and maintain than piston-types. Also, there's the old axiom Murphy coined about the more moving parts, the more that can break down...
• Unbalanced Piston first stages are commonly used - pick up a reg unit at any dive school, and chances are you'll be holding an unbalanced piston-type. They're cheap, but have limitations; the moving parts come in direct contact with water and water-borne crud, they are unable to handle high pressures, and they deliver a varying hose pressure to the second-stage regulator.
• Balanced Piston-types are the most widely manufactured first stage regulators. They are able to withstand high pressures, and deliver constant hose pressure to the second stage. As you might guess, they are also generally more expensive. Like unbalanced pistons, their moving parts contact water and sediment.
How to Compare First Stages
Some manufacturers have priced their regulators so that there is a markup when buying first and second stages separately, so if you're concerned about price, look to buy a complete set up: first and second stage, hoses and attachments, and, quite probably if you have the means, an integrated computer console with depth and pressure gauges, and maybe a compass. A look at the entirety of regulator systems is beyond the scope of what I've attempted here (remember, we're both just a little lost, right?).
Even if you're buying an integrated system, take a close look at the included first stage and consider the following:
Look to buy a Piston-type regulator (I hope that you see that choosing a piston-type is the obvious way to go based on the above information), rather than a Diaphragm-type regulator. Generally, if you're half-fish and doing more advanced diving, you'll want a Balanced piston; if you're merely all-human and a recreational diver, opt for an Unbalanced piston.
Some regulator models are equipped with a environmental exclusion setup (usually a malleable silicone sealant) that works to prevent water and crud from entering the first stage. While protective, these setups effect the regulator's responsiveness, and are usually only used as a precaution against ice-up during cold water diving. If you don't do any really chilly dives, this is an extra you can do without.
Finally, take into account the regulator's composition. Most first stages are made of chrome-plated brass. A better option is to buy one made of stainless steel, which is much more durable than brass. The best route, and, of course most expensive, is to buy a titanium-plated rig with titanium parts. Most divers should simply buy chrome-plated, inspecting the regulator for uniform-thickness of chrome plating before making the purchase. Advanced divers will want to consider first stages made from the tougher, more expensive materials.
So you're wondering how you even found yourself here in this technical backwater, and you're thinking, what are you doing here Hedge? No one wants to even think about their first-stage regulator, let alone read about 'em, or worse, write about 'em. Get a life!
Don't we both have some diving to do?
True enough - I'd really rather be diving! But without a reliable, functional and durable first stage, none of us is going to do any diving at all. That is, unless we want to do that breath-hold type of diving. But that's not what y'all had in mind, is it? So, let's take a look at this underappreciated workhorse piece of SCUBA apparatus and come away with a new-found appreciation and love for the First Stage Regulator.
What is a First Stage anyway?
The first thing you should know about your first stage regulator is that it isn't the second stage regulator! Your first stage is the metal doohickey that attaches to the valve atop your air tank, reducing the high air pressure down to an intermediate pressure that your second stage regulator (the other doohickey that you actually stick into your mouth and breathe into and out of) can manage. The two work together to regulate the airflow from your tank and are both absolutely necessary - but for some reason, the second stage regulator gets all the attention. Divers do a lot of handling of/kissing on the second stage; but if your first stage is working correctly, you don't ever even have to think about it, let alone give it a smooch after a dive well done (something I suggest should be a regular part of your diving routine).
Types of First Stages
There are really only four first stage designs. The working mechanism is either a Diaphragm or Piston, and these two are broken down into a Balanced or Unbalanced variety:
• Unbalanced Diaphragm is an anachronistic design, and these types of regulators aren't manufactured today.
• Balanced Diaphragm first stages involve an additional low-pressure air chamber in their design (the balancing chamber, hence the name) and therefore incorporate more moving parts than Piston-type first stages. Their moving parts are protected from water and the elements, however. The technical complexities required to manufacture and service Balanced diaphragm regulators make them more expensive to buy and maintain than piston-types. Also, there's the old axiom Murphy coined about the more moving parts, the more that can break down...
• Unbalanced Piston first stages are commonly used - pick up a reg unit at any dive school, and chances are you'll be holding an unbalanced piston-type. They're cheap, but have limitations; the moving parts come in direct contact with water and water-borne crud, they are unable to handle high pressures, and they deliver a varying hose pressure to the second-stage regulator.
• Balanced Piston-types are the most widely manufactured first stage regulators. They are able to withstand high pressures, and deliver constant hose pressure to the second stage. As you might guess, they are also generally more expensive. Like unbalanced pistons, their moving parts contact water and sediment.
How to Compare First Stages
Some manufacturers have priced their regulators so that there is a markup when buying first and second stages separately, so if you're concerned about price, look to buy a complete set up: first and second stage, hoses and attachments, and, quite probably if you have the means, an integrated computer console with depth and pressure gauges, and maybe a compass. A look at the entirety of regulator systems is beyond the scope of what I've attempted here (remember, we're both just a little lost, right?).
Even if you're buying an integrated system, take a close look at the included first stage and consider the following:
Look to buy a Piston-type regulator (I hope that you see that choosing a piston-type is the obvious way to go based on the above information), rather than a Diaphragm-type regulator. Generally, if you're half-fish and doing more advanced diving, you'll want a Balanced piston; if you're merely all-human and a recreational diver, opt for an Unbalanced piston.
Some regulator models are equipped with a environmental exclusion setup (usually a malleable silicone sealant) that works to prevent water and crud from entering the first stage. While protective, these setups effect the regulator's responsiveness, and are usually only used as a precaution against ice-up during cold water diving. If you don't do any really chilly dives, this is an extra you can do without.
Finally, take into account the regulator's composition. Most first stages are made of chrome-plated brass. A better option is to buy one made of stainless steel, which is much more durable than brass. The best route, and, of course most expensive, is to buy a titanium-plated rig with titanium parts. Most divers should simply buy chrome-plated, inspecting the regulator for uniform-thickness of chrome plating before making the purchase. Advanced divers will want to consider first stages made from the tougher, more expensive materials.
A Tachometer for Yer Ticker
How To Choose A Heart Rate Monitor
If you're serious about endurance exercise, you already own one. If you're serious enough to need one, consider this stuff before you buy.
Before we examine how to choose a heart rate monitor, let's briefly discuss why. Most people live joyous, fulfilled lives without ever owning one. You've no reason to run out and buy a monitor for a hundred bucks when you can just run out and, well, run. For free, okay? If you're just in the workout for the pleasure, you don't really need one. If you're not going to fully incorporate your monitor into a training regimen, don't buy one. If you're not going to learn how to best use your monitor, don't buy one. That's the first step in choosing a heart monitor: be sure you really need one before you buy.
You need a heart rate monitor if you're the driven type of chronic endorphin addict who goes 110% everytime you exercise, leaving little more than a mound of overtrained smoking hamburger to recover for the next grueling workout. If your tendency is to redline your heart with every workout, you're probably a Triathlete-cyborg who should own two or three heart rate monitors.
Conversely, you need a heart rate monitor if you're an undertrainer; if you think you're working hard enough, but aren't getting the dramatic results you anticipate. If your tendency is to socialize on the treadmills at the gym, a heart rate monitor can tell you if you're loafing.
You need a monitor if you're considering serious involvement in any endurance sport of long duration; swimming, running, biking, walking, hiking, indoor aerobics; or to measure the aerobic benefits of workouts of a more burst/rest nature - basketball, soccer, sandlot football, plyometrics, or martial arts.
Why Even Own a Heart Rate Monitor?
A heart rate monitor is essential gear for any endurance athlete wishing to reach his full potential. All quantifiable aerobic workouts can be measured as a percentage of maximum heart rate; a heart rate monitor allows the athlete to both determine maximum heart rate and the deduced percentage of that max rate without a visit to the clinic for a treadmill test. Face it; all those charts showing 220 minus your age equalling this arbitrary 70% heart rate zone are simply too generalized to do you any good, and they don't account for any increase in conditioning. Once you know your personal maximum heart rate, you can tailor heart rate zones precisely for maximum benefit. Owning a monitor makes checking change in maximum heart rate something any athlete can do on a monthly basis (or more frequently. Ugh).
Using a heart rate monitor eliminates guesswork from training intensity. The monitor is there to make sure that you work as hard as your periodized schedule calls for - no easier, no harder - which helps the dedicated avoid burnout, the slacker to avoid undertraining, and everyone to avoid injury. If you wake up one morning and are fighting a cold or are just plain overtrained, your resting heart rate will be elevated, and when you begin your workout the monitor will compensate by showing a higher exercising heart rate - a signal for you to take it easier. If, on the other hand, you wake up to find that the stars have aligned and you're radioactive with excess energy, you should be able to exercise much faster at the same predetermined heart rate. In either case, the heart rate monitor standardizes the workout so you work at a 70% (or whatever) effort regardless of how you feel.
Stuff to Look For When Buying a Monitor
Reliability. A good monitor will allow you to exercise now; evaluate later. Cheap units have a hard time finding a heart beat when you're at rest, or wig out by registering impossible palpitations when you're really sweaty and the ol' ticker's pumping really hard. Try on the unit before buying it. If it doesn't give you a heart rate reading right away, and you're certain that your heart is beating, don't buy it. Some monitor literature recommends that you wet the contacts before putting on the chest unit to get a reading - consider statements like these the manufacturers' way of telling you that a unit is a substandard one.
Interference. Sometimes the best units will get a false reading if their signal is jammed. This will usually happen in a crowd of people wearing other monitors (a problem in the crush at a race's starting line, or jogging next to a partner, for instance) or near electrical exercise equipment (a problem if you own a treadmill, stationary bike or stairmaster). One brand of recumbent stationary cycle sends bad signals to my monitor, giving me heart rate readings in the low 250's, unless I strap the wrist unit to the back of my hat when riding, which is just far enough from the circuitry of the bike and just close enough to my chest strap to make me look like a complete dweeb. To avoid similar embarrassment, determine whether or not a monitor will play nice with your favorite machines before buying.
Buy a Contact Monitor. Until someone comes up with something better, the chest-strap skin-contact heart rate monitors are the most reliable. These type go around your chest just at sternum level like some sort of abbreviated underwire bra. Units that clip to a finger or earlobe have trouble finding or keeping a beat; units that require one to touch a thumb to a pad are just a waste of money - if you're going that route, why not just plant your thumb on your jugular and count to ten?
Comfort. Be sure the chest strap will stay snugly in place when sweaty-wet. Do you have to cinch it like a saddle to keep it from slipping down around your ankles? Does the elastic expand for easy breathing (take a few deep breaths)? Does it poke you anywhere (look for stitching or seams on the inside/skinside)? Are your upper arms going to chafe against it (do a running movement, and multiply by a few thousand)? Does it just feel funky? If it doesn't feel good now, it sure ain't gonna feel comfy at mile 20 of that marathon.
Buy waterproof. Your monitor should be more than simply water resistant, it should function happily even if you're swimming. If you're not a swimmer or triathlete and have absolutely no plans to swim for exercise, your chest strap and wrist unit will probably come in contact with enough sweat to drown a cheap unit. Think of a waterproof designation as an earmark of a well-constructed unit.
Large, Easy to See Readout. An on-demand backlight is a plus.
Protected buttons. Look for recessed buttons, or hoods around the function-buttons on the wrist unit. These will keep Murphy from pushing the stop button in the middle of what-otherwise-would-have-been-your-most-memorable-workout-ever. There's nothing like the churning feet at the swim start of a triathlon to switch off monitors with big, unprotected buttons.
Features. Exercise now, evaluate later. All heart rate monitors will tell you the status of your heart rate. Don't buy a monitor if this is all it offers - are you really planning to bike, run, or swim with your eyes glued to your wrist watch? Look for a unit that computes average heart rate, maximum heart rate, time in/above/below your predetermined training zone, and has normal watch functions like time of day, stopwatch, alarm, countdown timer, and lap times. I train with a normal fully-featured Timex Ironman on one wrist and my monitor on the other. And I still use all the functions on the monitor unit (besides looking like a total dweeb, again).
The average heart rate function is the most essential of all, since it gauges how hard your heart chugged over the entirety of your workout. So much so that this number can become a numerical rating for the intensity of a workout; a five mile run at a 155 beats per minute average can feel ten times harder than a 10 mile run at 145. I recommend that you don't waste your time on any models that neglect an average rate feature.
Some higher-end units will allow you to download your workout data to a PC. Since the software is Windoze only, and I own Macintosh computers, I've not used this function. Call it sour grapes, or call me an Aerobic Amish, but I prefer the satisfaction in logging my workout stats onto the calendar by hand.
Finally, remember that you're going to use your monitor when you're in oxygen debt, most of your blood is flowing away from your brain to your musculature, and with sweat stinging at your eyes. So, take a peek at the instruction booklet before buying. Does it look simple? Programming your monitor should be intuitive. If you can't get the information you need from the unit with a few button-pushes, it will probably aggravate you during those mentally-incapacitating workouts you're planning.
If you're serious about endurance exercise, you already own one. If you're serious enough to need one, consider this stuff before you buy.
Before we examine how to choose a heart rate monitor, let's briefly discuss why. Most people live joyous, fulfilled lives without ever owning one. You've no reason to run out and buy a monitor for a hundred bucks when you can just run out and, well, run. For free, okay? If you're just in the workout for the pleasure, you don't really need one. If you're not going to fully incorporate your monitor into a training regimen, don't buy one. If you're not going to learn how to best use your monitor, don't buy one. That's the first step in choosing a heart monitor: be sure you really need one before you buy.
You need a heart rate monitor if you're the driven type of chronic endorphin addict who goes 110% everytime you exercise, leaving little more than a mound of overtrained smoking hamburger to recover for the next grueling workout. If your tendency is to redline your heart with every workout, you're probably a Triathlete-cyborg who should own two or three heart rate monitors.
Conversely, you need a heart rate monitor if you're an undertrainer; if you think you're working hard enough, but aren't getting the dramatic results you anticipate. If your tendency is to socialize on the treadmills at the gym, a heart rate monitor can tell you if you're loafing.
You need a monitor if you're considering serious involvement in any endurance sport of long duration; swimming, running, biking, walking, hiking, indoor aerobics; or to measure the aerobic benefits of workouts of a more burst/rest nature - basketball, soccer, sandlot football, plyometrics, or martial arts.
Why Even Own a Heart Rate Monitor?
A heart rate monitor is essential gear for any endurance athlete wishing to reach his full potential. All quantifiable aerobic workouts can be measured as a percentage of maximum heart rate; a heart rate monitor allows the athlete to both determine maximum heart rate and the deduced percentage of that max rate without a visit to the clinic for a treadmill test. Face it; all those charts showing 220 minus your age equalling this arbitrary 70% heart rate zone are simply too generalized to do you any good, and they don't account for any increase in conditioning. Once you know your personal maximum heart rate, you can tailor heart rate zones precisely for maximum benefit. Owning a monitor makes checking change in maximum heart rate something any athlete can do on a monthly basis (or more frequently. Ugh).
Using a heart rate monitor eliminates guesswork from training intensity. The monitor is there to make sure that you work as hard as your periodized schedule calls for - no easier, no harder - which helps the dedicated avoid burnout, the slacker to avoid undertraining, and everyone to avoid injury. If you wake up one morning and are fighting a cold or are just plain overtrained, your resting heart rate will be elevated, and when you begin your workout the monitor will compensate by showing a higher exercising heart rate - a signal for you to take it easier. If, on the other hand, you wake up to find that the stars have aligned and you're radioactive with excess energy, you should be able to exercise much faster at the same predetermined heart rate. In either case, the heart rate monitor standardizes the workout so you work at a 70% (or whatever) effort regardless of how you feel.
Stuff to Look For When Buying a Monitor
Reliability. A good monitor will allow you to exercise now; evaluate later. Cheap units have a hard time finding a heart beat when you're at rest, or wig out by registering impossible palpitations when you're really sweaty and the ol' ticker's pumping really hard. Try on the unit before buying it. If it doesn't give you a heart rate reading right away, and you're certain that your heart is beating, don't buy it. Some monitor literature recommends that you wet the contacts before putting on the chest unit to get a reading - consider statements like these the manufacturers' way of telling you that a unit is a substandard one.
Interference. Sometimes the best units will get a false reading if their signal is jammed. This will usually happen in a crowd of people wearing other monitors (a problem in the crush at a race's starting line, or jogging next to a partner, for instance) or near electrical exercise equipment (a problem if you own a treadmill, stationary bike or stairmaster). One brand of recumbent stationary cycle sends bad signals to my monitor, giving me heart rate readings in the low 250's, unless I strap the wrist unit to the back of my hat when riding, which is just far enough from the circuitry of the bike and just close enough to my chest strap to make me look like a complete dweeb. To avoid similar embarrassment, determine whether or not a monitor will play nice with your favorite machines before buying.
Buy a Contact Monitor. Until someone comes up with something better, the chest-strap skin-contact heart rate monitors are the most reliable. These type go around your chest just at sternum level like some sort of abbreviated underwire bra. Units that clip to a finger or earlobe have trouble finding or keeping a beat; units that require one to touch a thumb to a pad are just a waste of money - if you're going that route, why not just plant your thumb on your jugular and count to ten?
Comfort. Be sure the chest strap will stay snugly in place when sweaty-wet. Do you have to cinch it like a saddle to keep it from slipping down around your ankles? Does the elastic expand for easy breathing (take a few deep breaths)? Does it poke you anywhere (look for stitching or seams on the inside/skinside)? Are your upper arms going to chafe against it (do a running movement, and multiply by a few thousand)? Does it just feel funky? If it doesn't feel good now, it sure ain't gonna feel comfy at mile 20 of that marathon.
Buy waterproof. Your monitor should be more than simply water resistant, it should function happily even if you're swimming. If you're not a swimmer or triathlete and have absolutely no plans to swim for exercise, your chest strap and wrist unit will probably come in contact with enough sweat to drown a cheap unit. Think of a waterproof designation as an earmark of a well-constructed unit.
Large, Easy to See Readout. An on-demand backlight is a plus.
Protected buttons. Look for recessed buttons, or hoods around the function-buttons on the wrist unit. These will keep Murphy from pushing the stop button in the middle of what-otherwise-would-have-been-your-most-memorable-workout-ever. There's nothing like the churning feet at the swim start of a triathlon to switch off monitors with big, unprotected buttons.
Features. Exercise now, evaluate later. All heart rate monitors will tell you the status of your heart rate. Don't buy a monitor if this is all it offers - are you really planning to bike, run, or swim with your eyes glued to your wrist watch? Look for a unit that computes average heart rate, maximum heart rate, time in/above/below your predetermined training zone, and has normal watch functions like time of day, stopwatch, alarm, countdown timer, and lap times. I train with a normal fully-featured Timex Ironman on one wrist and my monitor on the other. And I still use all the functions on the monitor unit (besides looking like a total dweeb, again).
The average heart rate function is the most essential of all, since it gauges how hard your heart chugged over the entirety of your workout. So much so that this number can become a numerical rating for the intensity of a workout; a five mile run at a 155 beats per minute average can feel ten times harder than a 10 mile run at 145. I recommend that you don't waste your time on any models that neglect an average rate feature.
Some higher-end units will allow you to download your workout data to a PC. Since the software is Windoze only, and I own Macintosh computers, I've not used this function. Call it sour grapes, or call me an Aerobic Amish, but I prefer the satisfaction in logging my workout stats onto the calendar by hand.
Finally, remember that you're going to use your monitor when you're in oxygen debt, most of your blood is flowing away from your brain to your musculature, and with sweat stinging at your eyes. So, take a peek at the instruction booklet before buying. Does it look simple? Programming your monitor should be intuitive. If you can't get the information you need from the unit with a few button-pushes, it will probably aggravate you during those mentally-incapacitating workouts you're planning.
That’s Air You’re Wearing, Buddy
How To Choose Standard Weight BCDs
Look to spend anywhere from 300 to 700 bucks on a decent BC. Don't settle for less than the best: this is essential SCUBA equipment, okay?
Repeat after me: A good BC makes me a fish. A bad BC makes me fish food.
As the name suggests, a Buoyancy Compensator makes positive, neutral or negative buoyancy possible for the SCUBA diver at varying depths and under varying conditions. Your BC unit doubles as the thing that holds your air cylinder to your body. Since these are the device's primary purposes, keep these functions primarily in mind when shopping for a BC.
Of secondary import are non-essential functions: providing maximal surface buoyancy for resting and swimming, as an tackle box for maximal attachments and accessories, and as a neon-colored fashion statement that maximizes your image as a SCUBA sex symbol.
Two BC Types for Two Types of Diver
Today's standard BCs come in two-primary types: Jacket and Back-Inflation (a third type, those old Horse Collar types, aren't worth mentioning here - oops. Guess I mentioned them after all. Never mind them anyway. They're the BCs the Navy UDT divers used during WWII, back when a slathering Crisco all over the diver's body was considered as good as wearing a wetsuit). Both types require a weight belt to provide the additional ballast to keep the diver heavy enough to stay submerged. In an emergency, the diver may ditch the weightbelt to the bottom to increase buoyancy.
Today, Jacket BCs are more commonly used than Back-Inflators, and are better suited for recreational diving; they fit like a vest and allow for inflation around the diver's body. Back-Inflation BCs do what their name suggests - inflate behind the diver's body - and are better suited for more advanced diving or underwater photography. Back-Inflators Photographers are keen on Back-Inflators because they allow the divers more stability and horizontal control. Some recreational divers find that Jacket-type BCs are better able to keep them in a face-up position at the surface.
BC Buyers' Primary Considerations
The important stuff: Buoyancy is the difference between feeling like a fish, and feeding the fish.
How much is that BC in the window's Lift?
Okay. How many pounds of lift do you need to buy? I don't know. A general rule is this: Your BC should be able to hold you comfortably at the surface, without any kicking, in all your gear, while only halfway inflated. How much lift is that? Your mileage will vary. For instance, if you plan to do freshwater diving, you'll need more lift than for marine dives, since saltwater is more buoyant. For tropical diving (sans wetsuit) you'll need a generally-recommended 12 to 24 pounds of lift, for temperate diving (requiring a wetsuit) 20 to 40 pounds, and for hard-core or technical diving, 40 to 80 pounds (but then, you should know if you do this kind of diving). Buy a BC to match the most demanding diving you plan to do, and don't skimp on Lift. The surface can be a long, long way away when your suit is compressed by deep-water pressure and that tropical BC isn't up to the demands your cold-water dive is making on it.
Note that most manufacturers' specs on lift will vary by 10 to 20 percent. If in doubt, just buy the BC that has the higher lift rating. When you want to get to the surface and stay there, you'll be happy if you spent more and bought more lift.
Proper fit is where all that lift meets your body. An ill-fitting BC will function in a sickly fashion. Try on a BC before buying it while wearing your thickest wetsuit/drysuit, and be sure it's not binding or too loose. The BC should allow space for movement - do a few arm circles to feel for any pinches to your armpits - but shouldn't move around. Have someone lift on it to see if it might "ride up" into your chin as it might when inflated underwater. When wearing the BC, see to it that all of your adjustment straps fall into the mid range - neither completely cinched down or completely loosened.
Women: note that some BCs are manufactured with the specific comfort and curvatures of a woman's torso in mind, but they are all, at this writing, weight-integrated designs. Look under What You Should Know About Weight Integrated BCs for a little more information on these models.
Low inherent buoyancy, and no air trapping. These measurements are taken with the BC (supposedly) empty of air. Some BCs float more readily when empty of air (a high inherent buoyancy), and some BCs trap air in pockets, and thus, tend to provide lift when lift ain't wanted. Generally, and not coincidentally, the same BCs that have high inherent buoyancy also tend to trap air.
A Hard Pack for heavier or fatter tanks, with a hard handle to make lugging the tank/BC unit around much easier. Hard packs keep the tank in a stable position, and may or may not have any effect on the comfort of your rig, depending on your body shape. Shorter divers may find that a hard pack mashes their weight belt into their kidneys (and they may want to look into BCs of the weight-integrated variety).
A hard top handle reduces wear on the vest section of the BC proper because you won’t have to grab the BC by the lapels every time you move it.
Get an easy-to-manage Power Inflator. Simplicity of use (are the inflate and deflate buttons easy to distinguish and reach with your fingers/thumb, especially in your dive gloves?), length of hose (is it too short?), and grip size (an inflator grip that feels right in your bare hand may be awkward in your gloved hand). Look for a robust flow rate when inflating and deflating via the handheld valve.
Tank strap. If your pants fell down around your ankles, think how red you’d get. But if your air cylinder slipped down around your ankles, think how blue you’d get. Zero tank slippage is the goal.
Will the tank band on the BC accommodate your tank? If you have a Super 80 or 100, will the tank band fit well around it? Or, if you have a taller tank, will it fit well without hitting you in the back of the head or butt? If you’re a shorter person, a height-adjustable tank strap is a must. Some soft-pack designs don’t allow much room for height-adjustment, and don’t have the rigidity to stop one’s tank from moving around.
And here's where I make the only brand-name recommendation in an otherwise generalized review: the Scubapro Super Cinch tank band has proven itself time and again in various tests to be the simplest-to-use and most secure tank-holding band around.
BC Buyers' Secondary Considerations
Some points to ponder if you also consider your BC a surface-flotation device, gear rack, and fashion statement
As mentioned above, Jacket-type BCs are more apt to allow for more comfortable, face-up floatation than Back-Inflating BCs, which have a tendency to push the diver forward while surfaced, face-into the water. Underwater, this is a plus and makes for an optimal submerged swimming position; on the surface, this can be an annoyance (if you need to wait for a pick up while drift diving, for example). Note that all BCs will roll a diver, and no BC comes with a guarantee that it will float a surfaced diver in a face-up attitude. Jacket BCs seem to make surface swims and conversations a little less demanding, however.
Pockets and D rings. If people have a complaint about their BC, it's usually that their are not enough pockets (or no pockets at all) and/or that the pockets are too inconvenient to actually try to carry anything. While at the dive shop, try to slip in a small flashlight, slate, or Spare Air. Can you do it without having to look at the pocket? Does it secure nicely? Zippered enclosures are more apt to stay closed than velcro enclosures. Also, look for self-draining pockets that can expand to accomodate goodies.
I'm one of those divers who jingles like a sleigh with the D rings on my BC. Having at least four large D-rings, one at each "corner" - top left, top right, lower left and lower right - should be a minimum, I say. If you don't have enough gadgets to completely fill at least four rings, you're not giving out your birthday and Christmas wish lists to the right people.
Color. Who cares what color your BC is? Your buddy might, if you're diving in a crowd, and he's constantly trying to pick you out from the rest of the all-black seal-like forms swimming about. So, you may want to integrate your BC into a divegear color scheme that makes you easy to identify underwater (and makes your gear easier to collect on a junked-up boat deck). If so, keep the ROY G. BIV spectrum in mind; color will drop out underwater in the order of this Red/Orange/Yellow/Green/Blue/Indigo/Violet spectrum. A bright Red BC at the surface might turn gray at 30 feet underwater, whereas an Orange or Yellow BC won't lose its color until maybe 40 or 50 feet. Blues and Purples will maintain their color characteristics the deepest of all.
Look to spend anywhere from 300 to 700 bucks on a decent BC. Don't settle for less than the best: this is essential SCUBA equipment, okay?
Repeat after me: A good BC makes me a fish. A bad BC makes me fish food.
As the name suggests, a Buoyancy Compensator makes positive, neutral or negative buoyancy possible for the SCUBA diver at varying depths and under varying conditions. Your BC unit doubles as the thing that holds your air cylinder to your body. Since these are the device's primary purposes, keep these functions primarily in mind when shopping for a BC.
Of secondary import are non-essential functions: providing maximal surface buoyancy for resting and swimming, as an tackle box for maximal attachments and accessories, and as a neon-colored fashion statement that maximizes your image as a SCUBA sex symbol.
Two BC Types for Two Types of Diver
Today's standard BCs come in two-primary types: Jacket and Back-Inflation (a third type, those old Horse Collar types, aren't worth mentioning here - oops. Guess I mentioned them after all. Never mind them anyway. They're the BCs the Navy UDT divers used during WWII, back when a slathering Crisco all over the diver's body was considered as good as wearing a wetsuit). Both types require a weight belt to provide the additional ballast to keep the diver heavy enough to stay submerged. In an emergency, the diver may ditch the weightbelt to the bottom to increase buoyancy.
Today, Jacket BCs are more commonly used than Back-Inflators, and are better suited for recreational diving; they fit like a vest and allow for inflation around the diver's body. Back-Inflation BCs do what their name suggests - inflate behind the diver's body - and are better suited for more advanced diving or underwater photography. Back-Inflators Photographers are keen on Back-Inflators because they allow the divers more stability and horizontal control. Some recreational divers find that Jacket-type BCs are better able to keep them in a face-up position at the surface.
BC Buyers' Primary Considerations
The important stuff: Buoyancy is the difference between feeling like a fish, and feeding the fish.
How much is that BC in the window's Lift?
Okay. How many pounds of lift do you need to buy? I don't know. A general rule is this: Your BC should be able to hold you comfortably at the surface, without any kicking, in all your gear, while only halfway inflated. How much lift is that? Your mileage will vary. For instance, if you plan to do freshwater diving, you'll need more lift than for marine dives, since saltwater is more buoyant. For tropical diving (sans wetsuit) you'll need a generally-recommended 12 to 24 pounds of lift, for temperate diving (requiring a wetsuit) 20 to 40 pounds, and for hard-core or technical diving, 40 to 80 pounds (but then, you should know if you do this kind of diving). Buy a BC to match the most demanding diving you plan to do, and don't skimp on Lift. The surface can be a long, long way away when your suit is compressed by deep-water pressure and that tropical BC isn't up to the demands your cold-water dive is making on it.
Note that most manufacturers' specs on lift will vary by 10 to 20 percent. If in doubt, just buy the BC that has the higher lift rating. When you want to get to the surface and stay there, you'll be happy if you spent more and bought more lift.
Proper fit is where all that lift meets your body. An ill-fitting BC will function in a sickly fashion. Try on a BC before buying it while wearing your thickest wetsuit/drysuit, and be sure it's not binding or too loose. The BC should allow space for movement - do a few arm circles to feel for any pinches to your armpits - but shouldn't move around. Have someone lift on it to see if it might "ride up" into your chin as it might when inflated underwater. When wearing the BC, see to it that all of your adjustment straps fall into the mid range - neither completely cinched down or completely loosened.
Women: note that some BCs are manufactured with the specific comfort and curvatures of a woman's torso in mind, but they are all, at this writing, weight-integrated designs. Look under What You Should Know About Weight Integrated BCs for a little more information on these models.
Low inherent buoyancy, and no air trapping. These measurements are taken with the BC (supposedly) empty of air. Some BCs float more readily when empty of air (a high inherent buoyancy), and some BCs trap air in pockets, and thus, tend to provide lift when lift ain't wanted. Generally, and not coincidentally, the same BCs that have high inherent buoyancy also tend to trap air.
A Hard Pack for heavier or fatter tanks, with a hard handle to make lugging the tank/BC unit around much easier. Hard packs keep the tank in a stable position, and may or may not have any effect on the comfort of your rig, depending on your body shape. Shorter divers may find that a hard pack mashes their weight belt into their kidneys (and they may want to look into BCs of the weight-integrated variety).
A hard top handle reduces wear on the vest section of the BC proper because you won’t have to grab the BC by the lapels every time you move it.
Get an easy-to-manage Power Inflator. Simplicity of use (are the inflate and deflate buttons easy to distinguish and reach with your fingers/thumb, especially in your dive gloves?), length of hose (is it too short?), and grip size (an inflator grip that feels right in your bare hand may be awkward in your gloved hand). Look for a robust flow rate when inflating and deflating via the handheld valve.
Tank strap. If your pants fell down around your ankles, think how red you’d get. But if your air cylinder slipped down around your ankles, think how blue you’d get. Zero tank slippage is the goal.
Will the tank band on the BC accommodate your tank? If you have a Super 80 or 100, will the tank band fit well around it? Or, if you have a taller tank, will it fit well without hitting you in the back of the head or butt? If you’re a shorter person, a height-adjustable tank strap is a must. Some soft-pack designs don’t allow much room for height-adjustment, and don’t have the rigidity to stop one’s tank from moving around.
And here's where I make the only brand-name recommendation in an otherwise generalized review: the Scubapro Super Cinch tank band has proven itself time and again in various tests to be the simplest-to-use and most secure tank-holding band around.
BC Buyers' Secondary Considerations
Some points to ponder if you also consider your BC a surface-flotation device, gear rack, and fashion statement
As mentioned above, Jacket-type BCs are more apt to allow for more comfortable, face-up floatation than Back-Inflating BCs, which have a tendency to push the diver forward while surfaced, face-into the water. Underwater, this is a plus and makes for an optimal submerged swimming position; on the surface, this can be an annoyance (if you need to wait for a pick up while drift diving, for example). Note that all BCs will roll a diver, and no BC comes with a guarantee that it will float a surfaced diver in a face-up attitude. Jacket BCs seem to make surface swims and conversations a little less demanding, however.
Pockets and D rings. If people have a complaint about their BC, it's usually that their are not enough pockets (or no pockets at all) and/or that the pockets are too inconvenient to actually try to carry anything. While at the dive shop, try to slip in a small flashlight, slate, or Spare Air. Can you do it without having to look at the pocket? Does it secure nicely? Zippered enclosures are more apt to stay closed than velcro enclosures. Also, look for self-draining pockets that can expand to accomodate goodies.
I'm one of those divers who jingles like a sleigh with the D rings on my BC. Having at least four large D-rings, one at each "corner" - top left, top right, lower left and lower right - should be a minimum, I say. If you don't have enough gadgets to completely fill at least four rings, you're not giving out your birthday and Christmas wish lists to the right people.
Color. Who cares what color your BC is? Your buddy might, if you're diving in a crowd, and he's constantly trying to pick you out from the rest of the all-black seal-like forms swimming about. So, you may want to integrate your BC into a divegear color scheme that makes you easy to identify underwater (and makes your gear easier to collect on a junked-up boat deck). If so, keep the ROY G. BIV spectrum in mind; color will drop out underwater in the order of this Red/Orange/Yellow/Green/Blue/Indigo/Violet spectrum. A bright Red BC at the surface might turn gray at 30 feet underwater, whereas an Orange or Yellow BC won't lose its color until maybe 40 or 50 feet. Blues and Purples will maintain their color characteristics the deepest of all.
How To: Placing Your First Geocache
Hiding and Marking your New Cache - for Newbies!
You want to place your cache, and you want to do it right. Here's some advice I've not seen in other places.
First off, I'd say don't try to place caches till you've found 75 to 100 of 'em. You'll have the hankering to do it sooner, but after seeing what's out there, you'll know better what's a lame hide and what's a good one. Then the ones you make will be better, less likely to get stolen, etc. I remember finding my first skirt lifter and thinking, "Pretty ingenious hide!" ... and then I found another, and another, and another ... good thing I didn't place one under a skirt early on, I'd have kicked myself later.
Ask yourself:
Is this a location that's worth visiting? • If it's not, can't you place this same cache somewhere better?
What's unique about this cache? • If it's just like the one you saw someone else do, why don't you take a minute to plus it up a bit and make it one better?
Is this likely to be seen by some as a danger or threat? • If you're placing an ammo can next to the Police Dept's building, maybe it's time to rethink that placement.
How can I make the description better? • One, you can check your spelling. Two, add images. Just borrow source code from a cache description that uses images and swap out the name of the old image for the image you're using. Three, don't put a list of all the original items in the cache - no one thinks you're generous but you. If you must, put the list in as the first note as you activate the cache. Four, less is more.
What's just enough of a hint to help someone who's looked for 20 minutes without giving it away? • Ah heck, people read the hint before leaving their computers. But there is one hard and fast rule of thumb for hints: No one appreciates decoding a hint that reads, "Too easy for a hint" or something as inane as that. If your cache is going to be in a high-traffic area, put a spoiler hint in so your seekers will know if the cache is muggled and that's why they can't find it.
You don't have to place a cache just because there's no cache here. The world doesn't need another really lame cache, really. Really!
Be certain when you do hide one, that the only people who can find it are geocachers - if you're worried that it might get muggled when you place it, then it is probably going to get muggled... And muggled sooner rather than later. If you walk away thinking that it's hidden well, you'll sleep better at night. Nothing's more demoralizing than reading DNF logs from frustrated cachers who came to find your cache but it wasn't there - face it - because you didn't hide it well enough. Not to mention the time and expense of replacing the cache and contents.
I've also found with my unit that having different batteries makes a big difference. Rechargeables at 1.25 volts lead me 40 feet away from every cache, where 1.5 volt non-rechargeables give me dead-on coords. Guess what? It's right there in the owner's manual: my GPS is rated for 1.5 volt batteries. Finding out what voltage batteries your GPSr is made to use is so simple, but can make a huge difference when finding and marking!
I know I sweated bullets placing my first few because I didn't trust my marked coordinates. I have a cheapy yellow eTrex, which is just fine for finding caches, but I still want to make sure that my posted coords are dead on the mark.
For my first couple of caches, I made sure to come back on multiple days to test the coords. That doesn't hurt one bit! But one thing you should do each visit when placing is to take a few marks, then go away a good football field or so, turn your GPSr off and then back on, then walk back trying to find your cache using the GPS. You'll see in a hurry which mark is the best, and how far off the bad ones are. You can also take a moment to adjust the coords using your compass, then find again, and again, until you're right on the money.
(How to do this? Say you're now standing on your cache again, but the GPS is saying it's 22 feet South. You have "too much South and not enough North." Just raise the N coordinate number, say by a couple of ticks. Alternately, if the GPS is saying it's 22 feet SouthWest, you have "too much South and West." You'd raise the North number a tick or two, and lower the West number a tick or two. Doing this a few times should get you spot on, even under weerd conditions.)
If you're under power lines, or between high walls and having wacky readings, you can do what I call "Bi-angulation." Walk directly North until you have clear sky. Here, your North reading will be totally off (it will be higher than the cache), but your West reading will be the same as the cache location. Make a note of the West coord, then do the same directly West of your cache location - and you have a good North coord for your cache, too.
Finally, don't be in a hurry to place and publish your cache. Be sure before you pull the trigger on it. Feeling like you gotta get it done so you can get the reviewer to publish it today will only cause you to make a mistake, or settle for a worse placement or concept than you should. Take your time! Take your Time!
Place the cache container, and wait for a day or two. Come back and find it under a fresh constellation of satellites to re-check your coords.
If you have a fellow cacher who's willing, have them pre-publish find it and tell you what they experienced. Feel free to move it if they think there's a better hide 10 feet away. Feel free to change the coords if their GPS didn't agree with your mark. Feel free to upgrade the container, add camo, add swag, ruminate on a good hint... Giving it time can improve your cache in so many ways. Don't feel that you have to publish it right NOW.
Look at it this way, if you think the cache is going to stay in place for years for cachers to enjoy and find, what's another day or two for it to sit in place before it's published? It's just additional time for the hide to weather a bit, get good and dusty and blend in, so the FTF has to work for their trophy. Right?
There's lots of other stuff to say, but let's not go overly long. I'll keep it short by saying simply,
PLEASE FOR PETE'S SAKE DON'T PLACE MICROS UNLESS YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON!
Trade up!
Replace 'em better than you found 'em!
Give other hiders positive feedback!
Add some TBs and Geocoins to the pool!
and
Thanks for hiding one! Without you, there's no geocache to find, and no geocaching!
You want to place your cache, and you want to do it right. Here's some advice I've not seen in other places.
First off, I'd say don't try to place caches till you've found 75 to 100 of 'em. You'll have the hankering to do it sooner, but after seeing what's out there, you'll know better what's a lame hide and what's a good one. Then the ones you make will be better, less likely to get stolen, etc. I remember finding my first skirt lifter and thinking, "Pretty ingenious hide!" ... and then I found another, and another, and another ... good thing I didn't place one under a skirt early on, I'd have kicked myself later.
Ask yourself:
Is this a location that's worth visiting? • If it's not, can't you place this same cache somewhere better?
What's unique about this cache? • If it's just like the one you saw someone else do, why don't you take a minute to plus it up a bit and make it one better?
Is this likely to be seen by some as a danger or threat? • If you're placing an ammo can next to the Police Dept's building, maybe it's time to rethink that placement.
How can I make the description better? • One, you can check your spelling. Two, add images. Just borrow source code from a cache description that uses images and swap out the name of the old image for the image you're using. Three, don't put a list of all the original items in the cache - no one thinks you're generous but you. If you must, put the list in as the first note as you activate the cache. Four, less is more.
What's just enough of a hint to help someone who's looked for 20 minutes without giving it away? • Ah heck, people read the hint before leaving their computers. But there is one hard and fast rule of thumb for hints: No one appreciates decoding a hint that reads, "Too easy for a hint" or something as inane as that. If your cache is going to be in a high-traffic area, put a spoiler hint in so your seekers will know if the cache is muggled and that's why they can't find it.
You don't have to place a cache just because there's no cache here. The world doesn't need another really lame cache, really. Really!
Be certain when you do hide one, that the only people who can find it are geocachers - if you're worried that it might get muggled when you place it, then it is probably going to get muggled... And muggled sooner rather than later. If you walk away thinking that it's hidden well, you'll sleep better at night. Nothing's more demoralizing than reading DNF logs from frustrated cachers who came to find your cache but it wasn't there - face it - because you didn't hide it well enough. Not to mention the time and expense of replacing the cache and contents.
I've also found with my unit that having different batteries makes a big difference. Rechargeables at 1.25 volts lead me 40 feet away from every cache, where 1.5 volt non-rechargeables give me dead-on coords. Guess what? It's right there in the owner's manual: my GPS is rated for 1.5 volt batteries. Finding out what voltage batteries your GPSr is made to use is so simple, but can make a huge difference when finding and marking!
I know I sweated bullets placing my first few because I didn't trust my marked coordinates. I have a cheapy yellow eTrex, which is just fine for finding caches, but I still want to make sure that my posted coords are dead on the mark.
For my first couple of caches, I made sure to come back on multiple days to test the coords. That doesn't hurt one bit! But one thing you should do each visit when placing is to take a few marks, then go away a good football field or so, turn your GPSr off and then back on, then walk back trying to find your cache using the GPS. You'll see in a hurry which mark is the best, and how far off the bad ones are. You can also take a moment to adjust the coords using your compass, then find again, and again, until you're right on the money.
(How to do this? Say you're now standing on your cache again, but the GPS is saying it's 22 feet South. You have "too much South and not enough North." Just raise the N coordinate number, say by a couple of ticks. Alternately, if the GPS is saying it's 22 feet SouthWest, you have "too much South and West." You'd raise the North number a tick or two, and lower the West number a tick or two. Doing this a few times should get you spot on, even under weerd conditions.)
If you're under power lines, or between high walls and having wacky readings, you can do what I call "Bi-angulation." Walk directly North until you have clear sky. Here, your North reading will be totally off (it will be higher than the cache), but your West reading will be the same as the cache location. Make a note of the West coord, then do the same directly West of your cache location - and you have a good North coord for your cache, too.
Finally, don't be in a hurry to place and publish your cache. Be sure before you pull the trigger on it. Feeling like you gotta get it done so you can get the reviewer to publish it today will only cause you to make a mistake, or settle for a worse placement or concept than you should. Take your time! Take your Time!
Place the cache container, and wait for a day or two. Come back and find it under a fresh constellation of satellites to re-check your coords.
If you have a fellow cacher who's willing, have them pre-publish find it and tell you what they experienced. Feel free to move it if they think there's a better hide 10 feet away. Feel free to change the coords if their GPS didn't agree with your mark. Feel free to upgrade the container, add camo, add swag, ruminate on a good hint... Giving it time can improve your cache in so many ways. Don't feel that you have to publish it right NOW.
Look at it this way, if you think the cache is going to stay in place for years for cachers to enjoy and find, what's another day or two for it to sit in place before it's published? It's just additional time for the hide to weather a bit, get good and dusty and blend in, so the FTF has to work for their trophy. Right?
There's lots of other stuff to say, but let's not go overly long. I'll keep it short by saying simply,
PLEASE FOR PETE'S SAKE DON'T PLACE MICROS UNLESS YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON!
Trade up!
Replace 'em better than you found 'em!
Give other hiders positive feedback!
Add some TBs and Geocoins to the pool!
and
Thanks for hiding one! Without you, there's no geocache to find, and no geocaching!
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